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139,784 Literary Works • 672,766 Reviews
Ahhhhh! This didn't get any reviews? Well, it's about time someone reviewed this great poem.
The first stanza almost has a rhyme scheme, so I wish you could fit in a few more rhymy words in the rest of the poem. I would take a secound look at the secound stanza too, the phrasing is good, but the way you broke up the lines is a bit awkward. There's just something wrong with the 4th line... It's a little long, maybe you could take out the the word "but"...
As far as spelling mistakes I didn't see any. So great job!
The real beauty behind this poem is the story behind it, and how you weaved a Bible story into modern meaning. Thanks for posting.
Ta ta tip oh the hat.
~Alli-wa