Dance

I always felt that the opening line to any piece of writing is one of the most important things. Your opening:

Wild, rapid movements,
With which I express myself.
There's nothing
That can hold me back or stop me.

The music moves me,
And I move it,

OMG. I absolutely love this poem. THe adjectives you used are so precise, and being a dancer myself, I can totally relate. Nice job.

i've rea some good poems to day but so far your takes the cake!

The music moves me,
And I move it,
I interpret it,
Then I show you how I recognize it.
So you can see it in the same way,
You have a glimpse into my essence
I'm one with the music.

A rush of passion,
An explosion of feeling.
Turn, Leap,
Laugh, Weep

I choose to take a chance
And show you who I am.
I choose to
Dance

Great poem, I'm not a dancer, but i felt connected to it anyway. I think you might have used 'there's' a lot though. It just felt like it, especially at the beginning. Maybe spread it out more, or just get rid of some. I looked back and there's about three, which wouldn't seem like a lot, but when they are close together it feels like more. SO, I recommend just spread 'em out. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed your poem! I love how you never say what the poem is about till the very end. With the one word, dance. It was very dramatic and powerful. Perhaps you should change the title a bit, so that people kind of have to guess what your saying, it makes it more exciting, and draws people in more. Loved it!
Love, LittleLionWoman

Very captivating poem. It actually gave me the urge to start dancing. I like how it's deep and relateable but easy to understand. It's wonderful. Great job!

~Me

Hi,

I thought I would review the poem as a whole. So, here goes:

Wild, rapid movements,
With which I express myself.
There's nothing
That can hold me back or stop me.
There's a true expression of my character, I don't really get the point. I mean I do but I don't.
Down to the basics,
You can see the framework.
There's no longer room on the inside What? Room for what?
And nothing to keep it trapped,
My emotions boil,
Clash,
Spill out
My soul, Didn't see the point of this being bold.
So it paints a picture of what I'm all about.
Without decorations added,
This is all me!
Let me show you who I am.
The dance has a life of its own. Show me how it does.
It is eternal.
It is everlasting.
It will never end, even when the curtain closes Too true!
The music moves me,
And I move it,
I interpret it,
Then I show you how I recognize it.
So you can see it in the same way,
You have a glimpse into my essence
I'm one with the music.
A rush of passion,
An explosion of feeling.
Turn,
Leap,
Laugh,
Weep
I choose to take a chance
And show you who I am.
I choose to
Dance I absolutely love the last four lines the best!

Overall, this was really good. I really liked this.

Farewell,
A.

Hello! I have to say great job it is very good! I really like the imagery in this! For example, "Wild, rapid movements, / With which I express myself." Now this is pretty good at showing imagery a bit. Another example is

"There's no longer room on the inside
And nothing to keep it trapped,
My emotions boil,
Clash,
Spill out
My soul,"

This one shows the imagery better. Although, I feel the poem is more abstract than concrete. In other words, you tell just a bit more than you show. For example, when you say

"The dance has a life of its own.
It is eternal.
It is everlasting."

I want you to show me that the dance has a life of its own, that it is eternal, and it is everlasting, don't tell me it is. I also would like it if you would show me the speaker's character also because that way, I can imagine her character. However, I think this is a good poem. It just needs a bit more imagery and concrete details. Once you revise the poem, I bet it will be really great!:) Good luck!

Wow. I love this. So deep. I could also relate to this poem, because I know a person who is basically described by this piece. She's never afraid to show the world WHO she is. Great job with this!! Please keep writing! (And tell your sister she did a great job, too. both of you did.)

I love this poem!
It is really creative and the words you used really draw me in. I really agree with everything your poem is about and think you expressed the emotions well. I agree that the way you ended with the word dance was a very nice touch. good job!

Nice poem! It has an energy and feeling to it that really shares your emotions with the reader. I liked the quick, lively pace to it and really, the whole style of writing. Although I'm more accustomed to ryhming poems, I think the format worked together nicely. I also liked the way it ended, the last two verses finished it off nicely and I loved how it ended with the word 'dance'. I think you did a great job with this piece. Keep it up!

<..> Kat

i am a great fan of dancers because i love to dance....
nice poem....
i really liked it...........
you captured the emotions well........

I like it. It's really good!