Discontented in Spring

I just want to comment on some of your word choice here. I enjoyed the poem, but found it to be more artsy than having sustenance.

Perhaps your whole poem is intended to be making a claim about sustenance though - so this isn't necessarily a critique but a point of analysis.

Title
"Discontented in Spring"
I think may be more appropriately put; "Spring without Content" or "Spring Sans Content". I like the image of Spring - as it can mean both a season, jumping, and sort of an "in between" time or re-birth time. You take a pesimistic look at it. noting the terrible weather and emptiness - but rather than your conclusion being fully depressing as "crying has earned nothing/but distraction"

I feel clean at the end, not renewed, but sort of at peace, reflective, blank, finished. That could just be my perception though.

The "discontent" for "lack of content" (<- a line that would be fitting in your poem..) is very evident you describe air, stillness, empty, breathless, nothing.

The sense of time is really wonky in this poem (might be purposeful because it's describing Spring which is sometimes confusing when it starts and ends). But you talk about a moment (ln 1) then you talk about a transition of weather (that wouldn't all seem to happen in a moment but a range of time) then you talk about another moment (stillness, emptiness) and then you refer to the past (has earned nothing but distraction). So what moment exactly are you referring to? Where does spring start? Where exactly is the discontent?Maybe it's okay to be a bit vague for time - but as a reader I had trouble placing myself into this time frame or seeing the sequence of events unfold linearly.

I like how the crying could be seen as the rain of spring. - Good imagery and internal reference here, but could you also work in something about metaphorical growth? I feel like that rebirth and growing is a huge part of spring as a season that is missing a little.

Format
I'm a fan of this format - I think. The lack of spaces between the "Toohot etc) I think is a clever way to throw this in showing how petty the complaints are and also quickly move on to the rest of the poem. My only issue here is that the flow seemed really bad in this line because some of the words (windy & bitter) have multiple syllables. I can't read it all as one word - I can see it, but it doesn't have very good rhythm out loud. Leaving "air" all by itself was also artsy and made a point. But why do you need a period after it?

Other
I don't love that you use air twice. I like the images of the air being bullied to stillness and being breathless. And I'm not sure what you could substitute. Maybe gasp or wind?
The idea of "breathless air" works great with that line without spaces too - because you read it without a breath.

I think in general you could amp up the formality of some of this language. Like I said, I have no problem calling this poem "artsy" but it's a stretch for me to call it "beautiful". Also because it's so short and without a traditional structure (even lacking rhythm at times) I think that adding some "arth thou" and "hence forth" would make your poem seem like a more serious piece of literature even if it purposely or purposelessly lacks some bread.

That's about all I can say - let me know if you have any questions.

~alliyah

Firstly, the title itself is very catchy. The starting line of the poetry could have been more vivid.The language is easy to comprehend. Also the flow of the poetry is nice. The way it ends into a short conclusion 'And the crying has earned nothing but distraction' , gives the reader a lesson to stop complaining and to learn to be happy and contented.Its a short yet nice poetry, I would rate it 3 stars.

Hello, first off I'd just like to say that I think you've done a really good job on this. The poem is short, but that's perfectly fine and if you can get your point across in less words, then you should do it!

The part of the poem in the parentheses was really well done. It demonstrated the type of complaints you mentioned earlier and their continuous, no-pause nature shows the rapidity that they come and numerous amount of them.

The ending was also very nice, showing effectively how pointless the complaints were. The breaking up of the "like breathless air" was an interesting element as well.

I feel like the very last line could be deleted though, or perhaps a little more context put around it to explain why it was put there. The poem would end fairly strongly without it and as it is I feel confused at its purpose. The poems seems to be talking about the uselessness of the complaints, but then the ending bringing up that they brought distraction makes the complaints perhaps not be useless after all. I think it mostly depends on what they were a distraction from. If they were a distraction from something bad, then the complaints could be inferred to be good. Conversely they could be a distraction from something good. The latter is probably more likely in the context of the poem, but I feel like that line could have more meaning if exactly what is being distracted from could be brought up.

Anyway, great job! I thoroughly enjoyed the read.