I have absolutely no memory of this.
((This is a poem I wrote with my sister, alliyah She contributed to the poem as much, if not more, than I did. We hope you enjoy it! :) ))
Words of finality
Failed to change the heart
And so the earth kept changing
As an ancient love refused to end
A love older than stone,
The tool and the weapon
Older than the sea
With its waves trickling into eternity
Older than the golden sun
With all its vanities and fallacies
Which will one day burn out
Like you and me
Leaving only the mightiest one
And a never ending love
I forgot about this one. Best line "With all its vanities and fallacies" <3 Need more poetry from you @tgirly!
This is not a review - but check out this banner: 
PeanutPhoebe, here to review again!!
This is really cool. I love the way you describe things well without being super wordy. It is a tiny bit confusing about what is going through to the end tho... I would say you could even split it up a little smaller into more stanzas. I really don't know what else to say besides that it's very interesting. Great job, and keep writing!!
PeanutPhoebe
I enjoyed reading this, but I'm not sure I understand what it is about. What is this unending love? Did you have something in mind? I think TazmaniaGirl is right that you could write more to it. I would also suggest adding punctuation and breaking it into stanzas such as...
Words of finality
Failed to change the heart,
And so the earth kept changing.
An ancient love refused to end,
A love older than stone,
The tool and the weapon
Older than the sea.
it's a beautiful poem. But it would sound better with punctuations. Keep writing!
-A
Hi there!
TazmaniaGirl to review here!
Okay, so, here goes...
Posatives -
I love this poem, I truely do, it's got a great flow to it, and that's what every poem needs.
There is a large amount of description in everyline, so that's great.
You wrote it with your sister, and two is always better then one, so both of you, give yourselves a pat on the back.
Negatives -
I only two negatives, and trust me, there not bad...ish.
The lack of punctuation in this poem. Things like full stops, and commas. Maybe ! and ?
Also, ITS TOO SHORT!!!
WRITE MORE!!!!
This is a good thing because I like the poem, and I would love to hear more, and I think everyone else would love to, too!
OVERALL -
You and your sister have put alot of effort into this, and it really shows.
Keep writing!
~ TazmaniaGirl xx
120,212 Literary Works • 649,114 Reviews
Points: 144125
Reviews: 1227
Donate