Young Writers Society

Hello tgirly!

The rhyming was a little inconsistent, but to me, that can be good or bad. I liked it in this poem. It was odd and a little bit off, which I (personally) think carried the theme well.

I liked the ending a lot, but I feel like it could have been worded a bit better.

I liked “life's an act and I've lost my script,” a LOT. It’s probably my favorite line in the poem. However, I did have a bit of a problem with how it fit with the line before it. It’s seemed almost tacked on to the end of the previous sentence and could have flowed better.

Overall, it was clever and enjoyable. Your brief description got me curious and brought me in. Lovely job.

Hello tgirly~

This is MergSword here with a review!

Grammar Issues and Other Errors
I found multiple grammar issues and other others throughout the poem. I tend to notice when words are or aren't capitalized. I just didn't like how some words were randomly capitalized, and some weren't. I do understand that you capitalized after a period, but sometimes you capitalized randomly. Also, commas are also thrown around randomly in some places, while in some there is no punctuation, similarly to the capitalization.

The Pros of this Poem
I did like various parts of the poem, and the feeling of loneliness to the narrator. I think the poem perfectly matched it's chosen genre. Lonely poems like these definitely get my mind thinking, and in a good way.

The Cons of this Poem
The con of this poem was the rhyme scheme. It had random rhyming here and there. Sometimes there was no rhyming, sometimes two lines rhymed, sometimes three, sometimes the rhyming pattern altered. Although this is sometimes normal for a poem, it makes it hard to comprehend.

My Overall Opinion
The poem was okay. The emotion to it remained the same throughout, and it was very strong. However the poem was formatted, punctuated and said very oddly, which could use some work.

~Keep on Writing

I really like this poem! The rhyming is perfect and the I love the metaphor. If I understand it correctly it is a person pretending to be happy and kind floating through life and I find, especially at this point in the school year, that it is very relatable. Every line there is a very clear picture and I like how it all fits together so well. It also is easy to read and flows nicely. That's so funny you were inspired by a typo! Inspiration seems to come from the most random places. Good job!