mai name is bug
and wen sun rize
i hide awai
fwom blu skies
the home i hav
mak me glad
wen bugs appeer
i am sad
eating gras
colecting leafs
giv me ideas
like chrismas wreaths
i skamper round
wit tiny bonez
mai name is bug
leaf me alone
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,851 Reviews
This is adorable! :3
Thank you haha
Heyo, Casanova here do to a review for you!
Okay, I have no clue if this is a joke poem or not, but I'm going to assume so since it says humour on it.
Honestly, this is just me. I don't exactly get humour out of things like this. My humour is dark, morbid even, so things like this just don't appeal to me. Anyway, onward.
Mostly what you have here isn't really a poem. It seems more like a narrative of a five year old talking. There's no imagery, metaphors, there's really not anything here for me to pick at. It's simply what you said it was- a humour thing. Hard to review. I'll tell you what I'd like to see change.
I'd like to see more detail put into this. More than just talking. Describe the girl/boy's actions, thoughts, things like that and describe them. Make it more realistic than what it is.
If you can, make it a bit more ADHD ridden. Most kids are hyper minded when they talk(at least the ones I've seen), so I'd expect more coming out of their mouth than this, and when I say more I don't mean in total, I mean topic wise. Let's face it, everything is connected to them.
Anyway, that's all I have to say on this one, and I hope it helped.
Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.
Sincerely, Casanova.
that was the cheesiest way to end a review.
you missed the point.
this is a freaking funny poem. from the perspective of a bug. narrating it's own little dumb unimportant yet humourous life.
chill. then review.
Okay i'm so happy i clicked on this because this was too just too adorable. I legit loled right now reading it because of the adorable purposeful spelling. I love that you put that modern and innocent twist on it because it just works and its so cute. Thanks for making me laugh when I needed a break from all this pain right now!
Awe, you're welcome! :3 I hope u is okay now
I've never found a poem to be pure adorable before, but you've done it! This is definitely a picker-uper to read. Nice job on making me giggle! That doesn't happen too often, even with humorous poetry.
Thenk chu!
Thenk chu!
I sense some good old internet humor coming from this poem - specifically Tumblr! Thanks for writing something that could make me smile!
Ov coarse!
This is kind of cute but I don't understand why you made a point to misspell words that are simple, I get it from the perspective of the bug but do you think it could be taken more seriously if it were still in the perspective of the bug but the words were spelled correctly? Being honest I think it's just the fact that I really have a pet peeve about misspellings (even if purposeful) but maybe if it was spelled correctly it would be more 'show-stopping' in a sense that is ha ha well I hope this was helpful and by no means should you listen to what I have to say but your poem was cute I just had a bit of trouble reading it with the purposeful misspellings. I look forward to seeing more from you!
The misspellings made it cuter and more innocent :3
Ah I see...
D'awwwww!
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