Young Writers Society

I, um.

Hmm.

Well, at first glance, I can't think of any constructive criticism because I would advise you not to change a thing. No, seriously, this piece does something it's very hard to do right: self-deprecation. Too often it can come across as overdramatic self-flagellation or guilt tripping, but the starkness of the word choice helps get across that the speaker (singer?) means every word.

If I absolutely were forced to pick something I would suggest changing, I would try to shorten the line "and all the words I will never say to you again" because it might get awkward trying to sing it, but then again it could also work with the right musical arrangement.

Well done.

Wow.
I could try to say something, but as I'm not a great reviewer who notices small details, I'm not going to try to jump over my shadow.
All I can say is that it's a very well written poem that has a lot of raw emotion in it. I love the honesty of this. The author is not trying to hide their mistakes, they have their heart on their sleeve. They admit they have been wrong, they try to apologize... all of this makes the poem feel very human. It is beautiful, great job.

A lot of poems are about trying to 'win' an argument, and so something like this is always really refreshing. You spoke about pain and regret in a way that I think that many people can relate to.

Every three or four-ish stanzas were grouped nicely, although I would have liked a clearer theme within the groups. That would make your poem a lot more powerful.

But aside from that little bit of technique, you really do write well. Keep up the good work!

I know you're probably thinking I'm spamming you with comments, but your work is just so easy for me to relate and be drawn to. The pain and suffering you manage to portray with each word is beautiful and sad at the same time. One of the hardest things to say in the dictionary is, "I'm sorry." The struggle to battle your pride and admit you did wrong is hard, and then one day it's just too late for an apology. They're gone. I can't say I understand your situation, but I can definitely relate with each syllable.