Young Writers Society

I’ll just compliment you on your tagline. I think the effect would’ve been five times better if envision wasn’t a real word. Because of that, people would rather search envision halfway through the poem. But that tagline is still memorable. Try inventing a word next time for your title. It sure attracts a to of people. So. For the rhyming scheme, it’s kinda irregular, even though we do feel the rhymes. You also seem to insist on the sky.. which gives his kinda complex and unknown feeling. The problem, well not really a problem rather something hard to follow, is that you jump from points to description to another point and then another. For example, that last stanza. I mean, I got what you meant.. but maybe you should try something a bit more restrained. Your ideas are all over the place. It might be to give this impression you have when looking in the sky, and if so; you did a good job. So yeah. Maybe some more comparison, a little bit less dialogue (like when you say “You can not understand?/ That is to be expected”) and a bit more description on both the evolution of feelings/thoughts/..
Keep writing!
Oh and btw, I think your poem is clearly about imagination. But it also has, for me, reflected escapism.

Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with yet another review for you on this yet again rainy day. I'll try and make it short, and help get this wonderful work out the green room.

Okay let's begin.
So I didn't see anything wrong with this wonderful peace of work I thought everything was done to the very best, I couldn't have done it any better, even if I tried.
Now what I think this poem is about, hmm let me think...A could it be your own imagination? Because that is what give you good time, and sometimes bad? because I think it's your imagination is because you can always imagine a better world. If it's not that, then you will have to tell me, because I other wise have no clue. XD.
Now I am just loving the name you have picked for this poem, it is really what made me come and read this work, I didn't no it was from you until I saw your avatar. I also think it goes with the poem so well, its the key peace.
Now talking of your poem, it just blew me away! It was amazing, I started reading and from there I couldn't stop, it had such a wonderful flow to it, and it held this excitement, and wonder in it. And sometimes it will get spooky for a little bit. Over all I'm really amazing with out well this came out.
Well that's all from me for now. I'm really glad I came to read and review this work, it was really well done, one of your finer works I would think. So keep writing poetry, because you are getting really good at it, and post soon on YWS. Have a great day or night.

Your friend and faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix
Reviewing with a fiery passion.