I wait
I watch
Ages come and ages go
A thousand years will come to pass
I walk along a path
A path of roses, in all their beauty
A path of stars, in all their glory
A path of storm, and flame
I listen
I ponder
A billion generations will fade like mist
The achievements of man will grow and wither
I walk along a road
A road of tears and all my pain
A road of joy and all my laughter
A road of promises kept and broken
A road of thought and all my wisdom
I laugh
I cry
Nothing will last
All things will come to end
They cannot last forever
I walk along a trail
The trail of my heart
The trail to my freedom
A trail to eternity and beyond
When my soul has reached its journies end
I will be forever
Every mystery I mused over
Every question I asked in life answered forever
At Eternities gates
What will I discover?
What beauty will I see?
Will I gaze upon the face of stars?
Will the mysteries of this universe be layed before me?
Will I see galaxies dance or will I be dancing with the stars?
At Eternities gates
Shall my faults and mistakes be laid away forever in the river of forgetfulness?
Will my soul come to a quiet place?
A quiet beach with just the whispers of the wind and the gentle lapping of the waves?
Will all the stars be in the sky?
At eternities gates
Will my soul sing amen?
Will every wound on my heart be healed?
Will every tear I ever cried be washed away?
At eternities gates
Will I feel joy I never knew?
Will I feel peace wash upon me like waves?
Will my heart sing it is over?
At eternities gates
Will the road of my life come to end or will
it only begain?
What glories have I yet to see?
What will it be like to see beyond my questions?
What will it be like to play in an eternal river?
I can't imagine the wonder and the awe I will feel.
I can't imagine the joy I will feel being cleansed of every burden.
I can't imagine the freedom.
At eternities gates
I will be free
My sin, my shame, my mistakes laid to waist in the ruins of time
I will be forever
A free spirit
A heart forgiven
A soul divine
I will be everlasting
Not a wrinkle will cross my soul
Nor will my heart grow weary with age
This is it I know it
My life will begin when it has ended.
When the stars will burn
and the galaxies clash in a mighty dance
my life will be anew
The stars will shine brighter than before
The galaxies shall become more majestic then they've ever been
Or will my soul be left to wander the stars to discover wonders never known?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello Katnes!
I'm here to give you a review. Let's dig right in, now shall we? Alright.
Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're on, obviously.
Lemme explain to you something. "Journies" is the third person singular of the verb "to journey", while "journeys" is the plural of the noun "journey". So I'm pretty sure you meant to write "journeys".
Spelling can get so annoying!Next.
I love this line. It's beautiful. But just one little thing; spelling mistake. "Layed" isn't the traditional way to spell the word you're using. "Laid" is actually the more traditional word.
"Begain"? I'm not quite sure what you meant here, but I read it as begin and began both, and figured out which one made more sense. To be honest, both made sense to me, but it's your poem, so I guess you decide.
Now, for the overall comments about the poem itself.
I SWEAR TO GOD THIS POEM SpOkE TO ME. IT sPoKe TO ME, IT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES, IT SOFTENED MY HEART, IT'S SO.... It's so beautiful! I love it! It's amazing! You are a true poet, Katnes, you are too good of a poet. It's just... WAY TOO GOOD.
Oh my gosh. I'm just speechless now. How do you do that magic, Kat? Like, wow. Just wow.
I think I should shut up now. I should.
That's it for my review. I hope this helped in one way or the other. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!
Keep on writing!
~Liberty500
Thanks! I'm glad you loved this (;
LOL! I loved your reaction. That's just perfect. That;s exactly what I want to see in my readers.
Hello Kat!! It's me again FlamingPhoenix here with another short review for you on this well really rainy day. And as always to help get your work out the green room.
Okay let's begin!
So out of the whole poem, and it's a very small thing.
Okay so the word in bold is what I would like to talk about. To me I don't think you need the second ages. By taking it out the sentence will flow better.
Other than that this poem slash story was perfect. I just loved everything about it. I like that it is a story, it just makes it feel so real in a way. There are certain things you said in there that I feel some of the time.
And the emotion you added just made it perfect. I just love your poems. You have a real talent.
I really like that this was nice and long, because you picked really good words, that painted such a perfect image in my head as I was reading. And I really enjoyed that, because it's not easy to do that.
I'm also just digging the name you picked for this poem, that is what made me come and read this after all, so that's a really good sine.
Well that's all from me for now. I'm glad I had yet another chance to read and review your poem, and now I am off to read part two. Now that I am looking forward to. So don't you ever stop writing and have a great day or night.
Your friend and faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion.