So beautiful, its eyes looking at you
seeing everything inside you
like none have before.
It's blue wonder, it's light
the sun kissed clouds in the Sky
you look at him, the Sky,
you think, you gasp
you whisper.
I was so blessed,
to have this beautiful vision,
but I stayed inside and ignored it.
I took this dazzling Sky for granted.
The Sky, he is looking at me
probably laughing at me.
I saw his beauty but never really saw
never loved,
never perceived
the beautiful Sky that was in front of me.
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140,110 Literary Works • 673,017 Reviews
Wow. This pretty much describes why I love the sky so so much.
@Kayley01 here for review and can I just say that you made my day with this piece.
I don't really have aby criticism about your grammar from what I can see (keep in mind I'm 13 not 26) there are no mistakes.
I LOVE the way you described the sky! Oh my god it takes me back to all the summers on my life.
Well done and keep up the absolutely amazing writing!
By the way we'll done on getting into the literary spotlight!!!
Ah...the color of the sky.
So beautiful, its eyes looking at you
seeing everything inside you
like none have before.
It's blue wonder, it's light (blue wonder? blue, wonder?)
the sun kissed clouds in the sky
you look at him, the sky,
you think, you gasp
(this stanza is so pretty omg)
you whisper.
I was so blessed,
to have this beautiful vision,
but I stayed inside and ignored it.
I took this dazzling Sky for granted.
(why is The Sky capitalized? I don't like it :/)
The Sky, he is looking at me
probably laughing at me.
I saw his beauty but never really saw
never loved,
never perceived (,)
the beautiful Sky that was in front of me.
Hope I helped xD
Alice
P.S. this was a really pretty piece <3 thanks for sharing
Hey, AliceAfternoon, just for future reference, if you put
, it would make it look neater, and it wouldn't give you false points for something that you didn't write.It comes off as stealing points by you barely adding anything to the actual review, as you copy pasted the poem and then added tiny notes that I felt /barely/ contributed to the poem. There are three, not even whole lines, that you actually wrote, and I feel this was unfair to Gravity that you got more points than you actually deserved or wrote for.
Just wanted to make this tiny note, as it was bothering me. If you have any questions, be sure to ask me about them.
Hi, here with a review. First of all, I really liked the personification you've used e.g. "the sun kissed" and I also like the structure. The thing I liked most was the fact that you've used italics to stress points e.g. "loved". I also really like the use of short sentences and the way you described it, it's so realistic. The last thing I have to say is that I am interested in poems that rhyme but this was amazing itself, so I would get if you didn't want to change it. Overall, it was beautiful and keep writing..