Note: I wrote this poem using words that are not my own. Basically, I was listening to music and took the lyrics that meant the most to me from my favorite songs, changed a few words to serve my purpose and put them together. The songs I used will be cited after the poem in the comments (in order) as well as the artists who wrote them. Enjoy! :)
And the heart is hard to translate,
it has a language of its own.
It talks in tongues and quiet sighs
and prayers and proclamation
I have died every day
waiting for you.
Wishing I could wake up with amnesia
and forget about the little things.
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
and the memories I never can escape.
Now that you're back in the atmosphere,
with drops of jupiter in your hair,
I can see your halo.
Every wall I built, baby, they're coming down.
I want you to burn my bridges.
Set me on fire.
When I try to paint you a picture,
when the colors are all wrong.
Know that I'm still alive
but I'm barely breathing.
I'm praying to a God I thought I believed in.
I'm not Titanium.
You shot me down, I won't get up.
Because my broken heart is blind.
My broken heart is blind.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
This is really clever I would have never thought of that
! Using song lyrics, yet twisting it with your poetic style, amazing! I would love to read more of your poems, great job! (Do you this would work with metal songs, this will be interesting) Ha anyway awesome job once again! Keep doing what you do best, and rock on!
Yeah it probably would work with any genre as long as the lyrics meant something to you and put them together (and change a few words to fit your meaning) and make it flow.
Nice poem, congrats on feature! I love how I somewhat got confused as the heart is confused, lost as the heart is. I love it. Great job, keep it up!
Wow! I love music and I loved how you combined the songs together! I think you were very creative! My favorite part: "The heart is hard to translate, it has a language of its own." I think this was super creative and it sounded very romantic. Keep up the good writing!!
Hello!
I listened to plain piano music while reading your piece and I must say that made it even better.
The genres you used are so diverse so different and yet it just fits. the just fit together like they were made just like that. The flow in this is amazing and thus works amazing with the music theme.
Now some lines I really liked:
''Wishing I could wake up with amnesia
and forget about the little things.
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
and the memories I never can escape.''
This paints a picture in my mind of falling asleep and waking up next to a person you love, and especially the worst thing, waking up after a break up and the memory loss you get in the morning like for a second you forgot everything that happened and this is why the amnesia theme is my absoulte favourite ahhhh
I loved it!
Thank you!
I loooove the first stanza! :O
I think this is a piece of excellent work. You have made use of repetition successfully (My broken heart is blind). The feeling is indeed very strong they just float out from the lines. Next time maybe you could try some more poetic devices to polish your wonderful skills of making poetry.
Excellent- good use of repetition!
I'm done
Just wonderful.
I thought this poem was very good, but I think you forgot to mention the songs title and artists.
This is Dogsrule5 here to review!
Alright so I really didn't see any mistakes/nitpicks, plus I am sure you can point them out on your own. Not trying to be harsh so saying that you should point them out on your own, just saying you are smart enough to read through it and catch your mistakes. If you are to busy to do so, just tell me and I will send you a pm of your mistakes, so we don't waste this space for other reviews. Alright. Let's go to category's.
Category's.
Grammar: All good things here. I didn't really seem to find any mistakes in grammar.
Spelling and Puncuation: No mistakes here, but check just in case...
That's about it. Now for the good part!
Yay!
Alright so I thought this poem had some sort of beat to it. Like as if it could be a song, even though it is a poem... It was amazing on what a writer can do to make there poetry sound like music to my and the other reviews ears. XD!
Alright I also thought that this poem was poetic, amazing and just plane great. I liked the beat to it as I mentions before. (See Paragraph above!) XD!
Well I think that's about all, so talk to you later...
And keep up the terrific writing.
Love,
Dogsrule5
Never mind about the song titles thing. Didn't see the spoiler alret thing.
Song Titles and Artists
All This and Heaven Too by Florence + The Machine
Spoiler
A Thousand Years by Christina Perri
Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer
Drops of Jupiter by Train
Halo by Beyonce
Burning Bridges by One Republic
All We Are by One Republic
Breakeven by The Script
Titanium by David Guetta ft. Sia
Little Black Submarines by The Black Keys