A Riddle

by Gravity

Published February 1, 2014

E - Everyone

In Poetry

I will stay with you always,
I Am your most loving friend.
You know I'll stay beside you,
I'll be there, past the end.

I Am not your family,
At the same time, I Am.
Our relationship is positive,
I promise, it's not a scam.

There's nothing I won't sacrifice,
To save the bond and forge the tie,
That can't be made when I'm alive,
So now I ask you, Who Am I?

I Am God, your Holy Savior.
The Wise and Great I Am.
I'm the Redeemer of your sins,
And man's sacrificial lamb.

I promise I will save you,
All you have to do is ask,
For me to save your sins,
And in my Glory, you will bask.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
mayyda
Review
mayyda wrote a review Review · Feb 1, 2014

Hey there, liked your piece of writing, as topic of friendship is vastly covered and written by a number of people..... It is always lovely to see how different people explain it.
I liked your way of writing and selection of words.,
Good going and now just a few words about the overall structure of the poem.
The beginning was reality interesting and catchy.
Liked the way you said:
I will stay with you always,
I Am your most loving friend.
You know I'll stay beside you,
I'll be there, past the end.
These four lines are beautiful , well written and well structured.
Then the very next part, equally good , opening a new discussion still connected
I Am not your family,
At the same time, I Am.
Our relationship is positive,
I promise, it's not a scam.
Later s I jumped to the very next, lost some of my focus as the rhyming got lost.
There's nothing I won't sacrifice,
To save the bond and forge the tie,
That can't be made when I'm alive,
So now I ask you, Who Am I?
Although the overall poem is good and you again maintain the rhyme at the end but i would rather if you kept it thoroughly.
Otherwise the poem is nice and i like what every stanza says yet a little advice, hope you consider it.

Gravity replied · Feb 1, 2014

Thanks for the advise. This poem isn't about friendship though... it's about the love of Christ

User avatar
SheaKay
Review
SheaKay wrote a review Review · Feb 1, 2014

I love this. I. Love. this.

Your wording is excellent. It flows smoothly, and softly, yet has an impact of so much more. You captured Grace and Salvation, the true love of God, so perfectly. My favorite line is the beginning:

"I will stay with you always,
I Am your most loving friend.
You know I'll stay beside you,
I'll be there, past the end."

Because it is so, so true. Absolutely. He is our Friend, our Father, and our very reason for living. Breathing. Being. Our eternal source of love and hope. And you made that incredibly clear.

Thank you so much for sharing this.

Gravity replied · Feb 1, 2014

You're Welcome. It's always nice to see fellow Christians. I thought it was clever that I always made the "Am" capitalized in "I Am" because that's what God called himself. Moses was trying to prove to people that God had sent him so God said to Moses to tell the people that "I Am who I Am". So when Jesus later ever said "I Am", people knew he was referring to himself as the Savior :D



You are all the colours in one, at full brightness.
— Jennifer Niven, 'All the Bright Places'