The Windows to Your Soul

I liked it.

But I didn't like it.

But I did...

But it was weird..

BLAH ON WITH THE REVIEW THEN.


I love love love love *love* poems with inconsistent rhymes when they are done all stylistically and what not and you did that so you go Glen Coco.

However, I feel like the entire topic was a cliche. And that bored me.

I'm a big fan of writing romance, man. Like, check my entire portfolio.

Romance on romance.

But there's this certain air to romance that I usually see that your poem didn't really play on.

Good job.

It was childlike. I loved that.

It was fast, short in verse and stanza, quickly readable and non repetitive.

Good job on that, too.

I don't know, man. Usually I'm used to writing complex things in my own time, which may be why I have some personal distaste for this poem. But it's still good. It's almost cute-- the shortness and shape of the piece gives it this... plastic feeling to it. I know that sounds bad, but don't think about the bad plastic.
Think about like... plastic apples.
Cute.

Also the capitalization of the "W" in "Windows" gives it a lot of depth and meaning. Usually I scrutinize over-embellishing the eyes of something in literature because it's overdone and boring, but you managed to really capture my attention with it, and that's pretty hard to do.

So extra good job.

Pardon my informalities, this whole review thing is really working down my prudishness.

Keep writing.

xoxo
Kitty

This has good repetition, emphasized by the last line. It has a random-ish rhyme structure, which reflects the subject matter. I don't know what sappy means, at a guess it is either happy or soppy, but I don't know. Sorry this cant be longer school is closing.
Hope this helps
Take that you fiend!

This poem is really sweet and emotional. I enjoyed reading it, I could tell exactly how you (I'm assuming you're writing it about how you feel and not just because you felt like writing a cute poem) feel/felt.

My favourite part was the ending:

'I'm heartbroken and sad,
I just can't seem to forget.
So I'll write a sappy poem
About your wonderfull eyes,
And the secrets that lie
Through the Windows
That lead to your soul'

The only thing I would say is 'wonderful' only has one 'L'.

I thought this part was my favourite because whilst it was sweet and sad, it was slightly funny how you wrote 'So I'll write a sappy poem About your wonderful eyes,' because it fitted in with the poem about his 'wonderful eyes' really well.

As I said earlier, this is a really sweet poem and I liked reading it. It's touching and it's meaning is very clear.

Keep it up!

~Molly.

I goes straight to your soul. It has so much meaning, and it could lead your imagination on a chase. It is really touching, and leaves you thinking. Good job, and I totally think this could publish!