Cuts

Hi there LGF for a review...

My first impression on reading the title was that it would be just another one of those poems by people who have probably never experienced depression and are lacking raw emotion.

I was proven wrong though, because it was a surprisingly beautiful poem in meaning and writing. I liked your fresh view on it and how you didn't have scars externally but rather on the inside, which I thought was clever. Overall I think it had a good flow to it and was raw in emotion that was tangible. I got to almost feel the pain of the narrator, which is hard to find in a poem.

I'm going to go ahead and do a verse by verse review since no ones done that yet.

The skin on my wrist so pale,
So fragile, so harmless.
What did it ever do to me?
Nothing. So why is my knife poised,
And ready to attack my veins?
Why are the tears streaking,
Like waterfalls down my face?
Why am I letting you get to me?

I liked how you thought about what you were about to do and how you were about to scar yourself and what the wrist had ever done to you. I don't know about the use if 'waterfall' because it seemed slightly out of place. The last line was nice, and concluded it well.

Insult after insult, you. It's all you.
You are the meanest to me.
You, my subconscious.
Before I get in the shower,
As I eat dinner. You shoot insults
That make me want cuts.

This verse was interesting. In the first two lines I thought that the person dishing out these insults was perhaps a schoolyard bully, but I liked how you turned it around and made me think about the rest of the lines and how getting into the shower or eating dinner can be a chance to lower your self-esteem.

I sit behind my screen and type lines
That honestly don't mean anything,
When I can't actually tell you what I mean.
Yet I call myself a writer, as I type
The sorrows that make no sense to you.
I listen to songs that cause pain.
Since I can't bring myself to harm my skin,
I can hurt my soul. I can rip away tears,
And make myself feel.

This verse was interesting. When you say you sit behind a screen and type lines that don't mean anything, it made me think that maybe you weren't expressing yourself through the writing, but with the later lines I realised maybe you said that because you mean that you were sort of hiding from your fear by writing of it and not confronting it.

I was slightly confused by 'I listen to songs that cause me pain' and it's place in describing the narrators emotion. Does that mean she listens to songs about happens and that makes her sad? I don't know.


You can't see these cuts,
You aren't meant to see me vulnerable.
But I promise, they are there.
In the music I listen to, the thoughts I have.
These cuts don't heal. Like scars,
They will remain forever. In photos,
In tight smiles, in tears shed behind
Closed doors. You can't see me,
As I rub salt into my fresh wounds.
My cuts.

I thought this verse was beautiful and concluded the whole poem seriously well. I loved these lines;

These cuts don't heal. Like scars,
They will remain forever. In photos,
In tight smiles, in tears shed behind
Closed doors. You can't see me,

Because the helped me picture the scene really well in my head.

Overall I thought the piece was beautiful with a lot of emotion and good imagery and it stayed away from clichés! Haha anyway great job, hope to see more of you!

LGF

I enjoy the effort you put out there, and it'd be a good poem if it hadn't been done before. Cutting is a subject that sadly is covered a lot in todays world. If it is from a personal experince then that is fine, its good to vent. If not, then put a twist on it, try something that has not been done before.

The topique of this work is very despressing innit?
'I listen to songs that cause pain.'
Seems like this person is bullying themselves and it ain't helping them
I am not sure about the ending either: 'My cuts. ' Short sentence works well by contrast but I don't think it really communicates the message of the piece well in terms of leaving the reader with any hope about the dark material covered therein.
I can see you have tried to be thoughtful, but I don't think it is working with this particular rpiece. Sorry.

Wow.

This...wow. I've never been able to have the courage to put up a poem about cutting, because...well, I used to do it, so....yeah. X(

This isn't exactly about cutting though. Anyways, I really connected to this and I love it <3

~ Cella <3

This poem nearly made me cry, actually. The emotions are so real and human, I could nearly see the face behind them. I love the double meaning entwined with everything. Thank you for writing this.