The fuzz hugs my body, and clings to my shape.
I feel warmth spread to my fingers and toes.
I was sad and depressed, but not any longer
This sweater rids me of my woes.
This warm fuzzy sweater is green and blue,
The fabric stretches just so,
It dries all the tears that remind me of you,
And brings me up from the ultimate low.
The fuzz and the lint don't bug me one bit,
It sticks to my face and makes me grin.
Challenge me while I wear my sweater,
You have no chance, I know I will win.
Hades himself, has longed for this frock,
Though his home is hot and steaming.
Sad because he is death's killing clock,
With this sweater, he would be beaming.
Ralph Lauren ain't got nothin' on this,
Though his sweaters are nice and warm,
My Goodwill sweater is just pure bliss.
Even it if it is old and is worn.
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139,218 Literary Works • 672,513 Reviews
I don't usually like poems describing possessions (I think they're boring) but this one is different. For one, I like the wording.
Some technical errors:
The first line " The fuzz hugs my body, and clings to my shape", I don't think SHAPE is a suitable word. You could substitute it it FRAME or something else.
Second, i don't' understand the fourth stanza. What do you mean by " Sad because he is death's killing clock?" Please explain if you can.
What I like most of all in this poem is the reference you've given that old things CAN be good, too and not just the new fangled things we have today.
Keep it up!
Mysticalxx
Hi Gravity!
I reviewed one of your poems awhile back and wanted to read more of them, so here I am!
I loved your descriptions, they give the reader a warm and fuzzy feeling (or maybe that's just because it's really cold here and I'm wearing a sweater right now xD)
No, seriously, keep up your talent at using incredible adjectives and expressing the feeling experienced when you wear your sweater so well!
Like my previous review, this is going to be pretty short, since I can't find any proper nitpicks. I commend your grammatical neatness.
I was a bit confused over here. Do your tears remind you of this person? Or does thinking of this person cause you to tear up? The first case indicates you are reminded of this person after you cry. I think the latter is more appropriate, so you could make changes. Just suggesting.
Yay! Greek mythology reference! I love reading greek myths, do you too? If you do, I suggest you read the 'Percy Jackson' and 'Heroes of Olympus' series, if you haven't already finished them. They are both by Rick Riordan, and he is a spectacular author.
That's about it! Though there was no proper rhyme scheme, it had incredible flow. I was smiling throughout! Also, I totally related with you. Old, worn, fuzzy sweaters are always the best! I look forward to reading more of your works!
Thats probably the same way I feel about sweaters. Great. Write on!
I was sad and depressed, but not any longer
This sweater rids me of my woes.
I have never known anyone describe so accurately what it feels like to be so attached to an item of clothing. You get it! You totally get it. For that reason, I will only say good things about this work.
- good length
- good sense of style and humour
For example:
The fuzz and the lint don't bug me one bit,
It sticks to my face and makes me grin.
Challenge me while I wear my sweater,
You have no chance, I know I will win.
LOL
XD
Very personal and quite touching too.
I enjoyed this thoroughly.
Kudos.
~BSf
I found this poem to be really good, and the rhyming makes it a whole lot better. At times, while I was re-reading it, I found these elements of humor that compelled me to let out a smile or two. The best thing is the content; writing about those small things you love and being kinda emotional about them is what made me feel happy throughout the poem. I also would like to praise you for keeping the length just perfect.
But I noticed that your last word 'worn' doesn't rhyme with 'warm'; hence breaking the rhyming pattern. I suppose this doesn't indicate anything. Not only that but there are also other instances your rhyming style is indefinite.I would want to request you take care of that next time or maybe there is something you wanted to convey by this?
Please Keep writing rhyming poems, they read lot better, don't they?
Two words. Funny. Awesome.
Keep writing!
~Timmyjake
It's a great poem, but the one thing that stick out is how you have this 'abab' rhyming scheme, and it goes from
"The fuzz and the lint don't bug me one bit,
It sticks to my face and makes me grin."
to
"Challenge me while I wear my sweater,
You have no chance, I know I will win."
It confuses me how sometimes the rhyme changes. The first stanza is the same, as with the last. Is there a specific reason for this?
It's not consistent. It's an otherwise good poem, and it's happy, and I can feel your love for the sweater, and your confidence in it.
That little bit that doesn't really flow is what bothers me. But not that much.
It's well written and flows really well for the most part. Good job, however.
I enjoyed it very much, and if you don't mind, I'll post a few of my favorite lines below.
"It dries all the tears that remind me of you,
And brings me up from the ultimate low."
and
"My Goodwill sweater is just pure bliss.
Even it if it is old and is worn."
This particular lines- they show how much you care about this sweater. How much you depend on it for comfort and stability.
Good job, and keep writing!
Awww, very sweet poem. has a good message in the end, my favourite part is:
"Hades himself, has longed for this frock,
Though his home is hot and steaming.
Sad because he is death's killing clock,
With this sweater, he would be beaming."
Could have been shorter....unique topic. 8/10. Good job.
Thank you
This is amazing! Usually I find that when I read poems on the ypung writers society they either have rhyme and rhythm, or nice content, or good use of language, but you have beautifully combined all of these! The only criticism I can possibly find after detailed search, is that I wouldn't put "my" in the the last line of the first verse, but this realy is a minuscule detail! I honestly expect this to go to the most liked list! I hope this review helps, despite the lack of constructive criticism!
TAKE THAT YOU FIEND!
Thanks so much
Hm, i really like this poem! It all flows together very well and you have some very good word choice that makes it all even better. I liked how you described the fuzzy sweater.
"This warm fuzzy sweater is green and blue,
The fabric stretches just so,
It dries all the tears that remind me of you,
And brings me up from the ultimate low."
I am guessing maybe this poem is about the sweater being a comforter to the person who had broken up from a relationship. Since it ways:
"It dries all the tears that remind me of you,
And brings me up from the ultimate low."
I like how you did that. It's a very good poem. It's also interesting how you stuck Hades in it and that he would be "beaming" if he had it and that he has longed for it. And I am guessing Ralph Lauren is the other person in the relationship that broke off. Over all, well done! Keep writing!
Lol no, Ralph Lauren is a designer in the US. You know, he did polo?
oh.... haha, okay then.
I never heard of him...