Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Stepping out of the dressing room,
Facing my doom.
My fingers wiggle to and fro.
I like this shirt,
But your criticisms will hurt.
Will YOU like it? You have to know.
On special events,
You said what you meant,
You ordered me to cover my skin.
With the makeup I wear,
How will my face fare?
No acne will show on your kin.
Mommy let me be me,
Oh why can't you see?
I'm not asking for your permission.
You hurt my self esteem,
And to myself I will deem
The appearance of my personal mission.
But oh Mother Dear,
You've nothing to fear
I'll love you no matter what.
I know that you love me,
I know that you trust me,
You just don't want me being a slut.
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139,786 Literary Works • 672,767 Reviews
Hello! Unknown391625 here with a review!
Well honestly, this poem is great! Very simple! The last line had a really strong ending and came out of nowhere. Otherwise, this is really great. The moral of is is for people to just realize true beauty without the clothes you wear or if you don't wear make up. Just, your poem is relative to most people, I am sure. Don't give up and always write, Gravity!
-Unknown391625
Happy Review Day
I know you perhaps intended this to be rather humorous but I found it to actually bring up a rather serious issue. The only thing I perhaps didn't like was the ending.
For me it came out of nowhere. I know some people will like it as it deviates from the starting tone but I like to have a tone all the way through a poem.
I myself have a rather...well not necessary strict but difficult mother. So in a way I found this poem to be very relateable and had a liking to it almost instantly.
I really liked this part. The sense of total control this mother has over her daughter is really quite vivid.
I cannot say anything else really as the rest was rather solid. It was a good poem which addressed a rather serious subject matter - which I actually haven't seen done.
Hi Sphealwithit here....
This is a good poem
I like the structure and general layout. I do not have a very strict mother (I would personally call mine protective) I have a few friends whose parents control their lives and personally I think that it's highly unfair.
Back to the poem.... I like the flow and the rhyme scheme, I like the theme and ideas so keep up the good work.
Sphealwithit out.....
Hi
Well this is great. I have a strict mother myself, not to the extent of this piece but I can relate. I think it flows well and I love all the thoughts and ideas behind it.
Good job!
I love the style. I think you put your thoughts into words perfectly. And, I can relate. ^__^