Out of Love

by Forestqueen808
  • July 26, 2012
  • Poetry
  • Romantic · Narrative
  • Poetry
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I thought you were it,
My one and my only,
The one who I wanted
To give my everything.

But now, I'm falling
Out of love.

You tower over me,
Smiling smugly
As I try to cover up
My noticable flaws,

Making me fall
Out of Love.

You assure me,
I'm perfect,
But tear me down,
When no one else is around.

I want to fall
Out of Love.

You go silent as
The tears begin to fall,
No warm assurance,
Just an icy silence.

And suddenly, I've fallen
Out of Love.

The sun is so much brighter.
The sky, so much more clear.
My piano will sing again,
And the birds join in my song.

I have fallen
Out of Love.
Comments & reviews · 1
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lovethelifeulive
Review
lovethelifeulive wrote a review · Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:39 am

Hey ForestQueen,
I really liked this piece, you wrote it well.
The message is so true and everyone has experienced falling out of love.
In the first paragraph, you write 'the one I wanted to give my everything' and when I read it, I could feel the heartbreak, because everyone has had that person that they would give something up for, even if it's foolishly or responsibly. And that's why I adore this poem, because it is so relatable.
In the third paragraph, you write 'as I try to cover up my noticable flaws' and I could feel that rawness(is rawness even a word?...well it is nowXD) and tenderness and emotion in that moment. Because when a relationship ends, you really want the other person to think that you didn't have any flaws and that they made a mistake when they made you fall out of love with them. And they were wrong to.
When you write, 'the sun is so much brighter. The sky, so much more clear. My piano will sing again, And the birds join in my song.' I don't know if you ment to do this, but even though the words are optimistic, I feel like it's written in denial, like you're just saying that, because you want to believe it, but you're not really sure. And I thought that was really cool.
Ok, I'm going to wrap it up, now.
Again, I really enjoyed reading this. No spelling mistakes, as far as I can see.
You did a spectacular job, and I can't wait to read more of your works!
Thank you for posting.



As a writer, I'm more interested in what people tell themselves happened rather than what actually happened.
— Kazuo Ishiguro