My eyes follow the lady
Dressed in a simple brown cloak,
Searching for somewhere shady,
Where her home will not be broke.
She starts slowly,
Her thin fingers spinning
A thread that seems lowly,
As she listens to the birds singing.
A pattern begins to form,
As she weaves across the trees,
Being anything but forlorn,
Listening to the hum of the bees.
The glimmering masterpiece,
That once was a simple thread,
And has not a single crease,
Slowly begins to spread.
What's that I hear, a slight hum?
Oh who could it be, but of course,
Its just on time, for the maid is done,
And the web catches the source.
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139,566 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
First off, I LOVE forests and walking through them, so I'm obliged to like that aspect of the poem haha. Also, your words flowed very well, both with the rhyming and because many lines had the same count of syllables on them, the first stanza especially because each line had 7 syllables, and that's something that I don't know if is a technique or anything but I have noticed it can do something for poetic/lyrical quality. I read this several times, thinking of what the metaphor of the thread could be, and of course I can't be sure, and still am not, but it's a pretty metaphor and I thought it maybe represented you, and going to the forest to write, and that the web catching the source is what you've just written capturing your thoughts and you. I guess because that's something that I'll personally do, but needless to say, I liked this and will be reading more of your work!
There is a lovely pace and rythm to this and it is written very well. The ending is fantastic and there is a few captivating images in this too. Overall a really nice poem.