You told me you would come
So I waited
I waited through the rain
I waited through the snow
But you never came
I called for you in the lonely night
I cried for you in the rain
I prayed for you at every second
But yet, you never came
The leaves fell,
The flowers in my hands wilted
My tears died
My figure fell
Now you finally come
But its too late now
My corpse is rotting
My heart us broken
The roses in my hands
Are dead, along with my chest that once rose with air
You came too late
You let me die
You made me cry
You came too late
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,733 Reviews
Hi...I really liked this.
In the beginning you should change it because you repeat yourself.
Like a couple of others already mentioned, a little cliché, but I liked that you used free-verse, which I've noticed a lot of people won't use. With free-verse, though, something you want to do is try to find some way to more expressively convey your emotions, since you don't really have a sturdy rhythm that you get in rhyming poems. Doing things like adding commas or periods, or finding ways to add *EMPHASIS* to certain words can help to really help "bring it to life." It's especially helpful for making simpler poems a little more unique.
Hi! I quite like the imagery in this - the snow, the rain, etc, though it is a little cliché, waiting in the rain for someone. I like the rhyming in the second stanza, it flows well, and it would be good if you could maintain that throughout the poem. The last line in the fourth stanza is a little long, perhaps break it into two or make it shorter? Also, talking about crying in the last stanza seems a bit redundant, since you're by that time, "dead".
Overall, slightly cliché, but pretty well written.
Hiya! I'm Kyo and I'll review this today.
Now, I believe you used free verses... There's no proper rhyming. Also, I recommend using punctuations in the poetry, so the reader knows how to read it. I shamefully somewhat feel that many of the metaphors used here are cliche and no idea if it's just me, but I didn't feel any real impact.
Otherwise, the theme even being as often used as it is, is not bad and it can be written well =) Good try, don't let difficulties discourage you. Keep writing and you'll get better!