Close your eyes
And let the raindrops
Kiss your skin
As the sound
Of thunder
Booms like a drum,
In time with your heart.
Listen to the wind
As it shakes the trees,
Taking their limbs
Into its arms
And twirling them
Through the sky.
Let the pitter-patter
Of rain on sidewalk
Guide your feet
As you run away.
Feel the wet grass
Caress your feet
As water seeps from
The spongy soil.
Listen to the soft calling of birds,
Slowly dying with the
Echoing of rain
On pavement,
As you learn
To dance.
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139,372 Literary Works • 672,541 Reviews
This is by far my favorite out of all of yours<33
Hi!
Wow, what an amazing poem! Your poem was so beautiful and graceful; much like dancing!
The message you sent across was so simple; learning how to dance, but by the end of the poem you made that message seem so powerful! The words you chose to describe every movement and feeling was extraordinary. I loved the way it flowed and the beauty of the build up. The poem was easy to relate to even though I am not a dancer! I love poetry because of the way you can structure words to connect with certain things and you did a fantastic job of that!
Your imagery of course was amazing! Be careful of certain cliches like your opening stanza, otherwise, great work!
First of all, I LOVE your poem:) Second of all, Your title caught my eye
I love the way people can relate to the words and where the words can speak to them and sometimes change their lives.
I'm a dancer myself and it really caught my attention, and turns out, it was AMAZING!!!!! I love the imagery that you used!!!! I try my best to do that myself, but you have to be really experienced to be able to write as well as you do. Personally, I've been writing stories since I was 5 or 6 and I just now realized I'm good at poems and writing songs too:) Poems really speak to me, especially if they're good
You really detailed your poem. I love the way I can sit and read it, but feel like I'm experiencing it at the same time. When words leap off the page, or computer, it really makes me get into it. If you've read the Hunger Games, Katniss goes into great detail about how the people raced around the arena. You can see every drop of blood and pus she speaks about. You can see the flames surrounding Katniss as she rides in the chariot before the games. When I read that I can picture it. With your work, I can do the same thing and that's what makes it so good!!!!!!!!
Love,
luv <3
Hey, Forestqueen! A quick review for you.
I really like this poem, but I have some short critiques to make. The imagery is beautiful, yet not superfluous. The lineation is simple and effective. The tone is fresh. A fantastic, experienced poet such as you should not make such a mistake as to open a poem with this:
Raindrops kissing your skin is a cliché. How many times haven't you seen that phrase before? Beware! You have such fresh, beautiful, visual verse. Don't tarnish it with something as small and unimportant as a silly cliché!
On the general topic, it's okay, but there is a true myriad of poems on dancing. But it is still a great poem. Even though you could fill an encyclopaedia with dance poems, yours is from an original perspective, showing among other things the bond between the dancer and the environment. Just be careful when choosing a topic—you could annoy readers before starting simply by choosing to write about a perfect romance which broke up, or the beauty of your true love.
So, in a nutshell, this is beautiful, but beware of clichés. They can corrupt your writing.
a really good poem! beautifully worded stanzas and a great deal of imagery. i liked specially the way how you started it in a somewhat imperative way. the verses were vivid and vibrant. the first stanza : "Close your eyes/ And let the raindrops/ Kiss your skin" is just embed in beautiful simplicity. i personally thought it was a pretty way to start the poem. the whole thing had that tinge of explicit freshness in it that made it a lot enjoyable.
the whole time the poet, i felt, had this aura inside of him as he was going in details of how what would happen if you do this or that and that was pretty cool.
any way, really liked your piece. hope to see more!
Puck
I really liked your sense of imagery as well as your personification. Also, it makes you think about how the feeling of area that you are around is like. Great! : D
I love your imagery in this poem, and the sense that the person is not only dancing with them selves but with the whole world. with the rain and the wind and the trees and that they are all part of natures dance. I also love your word choice
"Let the pitter-patter/ of rain...", "The spongy soil". Just fantastic
Favorite stanza
"As the sound
Of thunder
Booms like a drum,
In time with your heart."
Okay, first off, you have an amazing poem! I really am jealous of your imagery skills! This is definantly one of the best i've ever read! Maybe you could work on stanzas and how many words you have on each line, but I wouldn't. The irregularity shows how you're LEARNING to dance, and you're not quite perfect. The outcome, though, is still beautiful.
Usually, I copy my favorite and least favorite stanzas in my review and tell you why or why not I liked/hated them. Well, you're one of the lucky few on here that doesn't get that!
Alright, to keep it within my signiture review layout, I'll copy my favorite stanzas and least favorite stanzas below.
Here's my favorite:
Close your eyes
And let the raindrops
Kiss your skin
As the sound
Of thunder
Booms like a drum,
In time with your heart.
Listen to the wind
As it shakes the trees,
Taking their limbs
Into its arms
And twirling them
Through the sky.
Let the pitter-patter
Of rain on sidewalk
Guide your feet
As you run away.
Feel the wet grass
Caress your feet
As water seeps from
The spongy soil.
Listen to the soft calling of birds,
Slowly dying with the
Echoing of rain
On pavement,
As you learn
To dance.
And, now my least favorite:
There you go! Keep writing more beautiful poems such as this to make this dark world brighter!
Write On,
~~Heidi~~