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140,812 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Really beautiful. Strong imagery. Very, very powerful. It was really enjoyable to read, thank you.
I personally LOVE this!! Because you kept me reading,all the way through xD and this is the first poem that's had that effect on me. I can see this maiden and I can feel her pain. Nicely done =D
i love this. the imagry is sharp, and it shows alot about the author, and the speaker. if you can, ttry to emphesize the feelings even more than you already do. its very, very dramatic, and its very good. you are a talented poet.
I agree with BenDietz, it felt like I knew her. I also like the way you didn't give the full background story, and just hinted at parts of it instead. It added an air of mystery to the piece. And made it that much more haunting.
Speaking of haunting, I also get the impression that the Maiden of Greif is a ghost. Like a wandering spirit that can't rest because of her greif.
Anyway, the only possibly-a-flaw-possibly-not-a-flaw that I saw (rhyme unintentional) was a bit of weirdness in the punctuation. Like how you added capitals at the beginning of each line even though it was in the middle of a sentence. Unless you meant to start a new sentence, in which case you missed adding some periods. Unless you were going for that whole sentences-without-a-period thing. In which case there is absolutely nothing wrong with this poem.
My rating: 5*s
My favorite part:
Well I liked it all, so um ya
Keep writing!
w&w
Hello Forestqueen808!
I liked this poem quite a bit! I felt that every stanza worked, both on their own and as a piece of the larger, more expansive and informative poem.
The way that the poem flows, it gave me a sense that I knew this "Maiden of Grief" and her life experience, though I have never actually met her of course. The character building alone in this poem was incredible, in my personal opinion. How the reader, the audience, connects with a poem is considered by many to be one of the most important aspects of poetry, and you succeeded in having at least one reader feel that the woman this poem was focused on is a real human being.
My favorite part was:
Have you felt her gaze
From those gray blue eyes,
Burning as bright as fireflies?
Even though I was not literally reading this poem out loud as I read it, I felt the words roll right off of my tongue. The words felt completely in sync with one another, and all of them worked in the context they were put into. Bravo.
Keep up the good work and continue to write!
Ben Dietz.