Yes, its in the Mountain West
So far away from the cool ocean mist
But who needs that,
When you've got Idaho?
Idaho
The land of Syringas
The beautiful, white flowers
The land of Star Garents
Found only in India and Idaho
Idaho
The land with mountains
With fishing and game hunting
And where Mountain Bluebirds sing praise
Idaho
The bustling capital city of Boise
Or Les Bois, named by the French
Because of all the trees
Idaho
My home
My roots
My love
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139,566 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Hello, I am Stela, and I shall be reviewing for you today
I loved this, it was very patriotic
What I liked about this, is how you started each stanza with 'Idaho'. Then you followed with your stanza that praised it. It reminded me a little bit of those tag lines they put on brochures when they want to attract tourists to go to that place.
Then, at the end, your stanza structure significantly changed, and you no longer told the reader about Idaho, and what it is in general, but what Idaho is to you.
I have no actual criticisms, as people seem to already have pointed out a few you could work on, and overall I actually like the poem. As I said, it is very patriotic
Well, I'm not from Idaho; but I liked this none the less.
The only part I didn't really like was:
It didn't really...fit. It could probably be revised to sound better though.
Other than that little thing, I thought that this was really good. Keep it up and thanks for the read.
Being from Idaho also, I can totally relate and these are definately things I love so much, especially the star garnets because I've always thought that was so cool. But i won't let my biasty get in the way of this review, so...
It needs work. It lacks emotion and while you describe everything well, I don't really feel your connection to what you're talking about. Why is all this so special to you? Describe.
Hello there, Forestqueen! I only have one little nit pick with your poem.
This line would have more force if written like this-
"Found only in India
And Idaho."
The last word in a stanza is always the one left ringing in the readers' ear, and since this is about your home, I doubt you want them to start the next stanza thinking about India.
Good luck with your writing! God Bless!