"God!"
I called into the night,
"God!"
My voice shook,
my eyelashes still dripped
with falling tears.
"God!"
My heart had fallen apart;
I couldn't see the pieces,
they were too small-
too broken.
I crawled on the hard, cold ground
trying to find a piece
of what was lost.
I just wanted to be reminded
that life wasn't all a lie,
that something had happened.
I wanted to know
that life is good-
sometimes.
My tears spashed against my chest,
my eyelashes-
begging to get out.
I couldn't keep the pain inside anymore;
I needed someone to hold me-
to say I was loved-
to let me know that I was not alone.
"God!"
My almost silent pleas rose to the sky.
They escaped my mouth
like a swarm of wild bees.
I couldn't do this anymore,
I needed help.
I needed God.
As I stumbled in the darkness,
my fingers found something.
It was sharp and cold,
like a tiny sliver of glass
or an uncut, unpolished jewel.
My cold hands wrapped around it,
and I swam through my tears
searching for another piece.
I found it-
Then another, and another.
I desperately clutched at my heart
until I held it all-
each tiny, frozen piece.
Then I sat still,
feeling the cold tiles beneath me,
the icy wind blowing at me,
the desperation in my heart.
"God!"
As I cried, the wind changed.
A hand came from somewhere;
not above nor below me,
not from one side nor the other;
the hand came from everywhere,
and from nowhere.
He lifted me up;
He pried open my stubborn hands
and picked the shards of broken heart from my flesh.
When He placed them in my hands again
I had to blink through my tears
to see that they were no longer shattered.
Instead,
when my tears had dried,
I saw a jewel.
Shining like a thousand stars,
hard as a diamond,
more colorful than every rainbow,
with a beauty that can only be imagined.
The jewel was full-
complete.
I looked for Him,
I wanted to thank Him,
to ask Him why.
Why did He care
enough to find me, alone and broken,
and put my pulverized heart back together?
As I searched,
my eyes found only silence,
but I was not alone.
“God!”
I had cried,
and He had answered.
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Wow! This is totally and stupendously beuatiful! I simply cannot fault this, and, as a Christian, this inspired! Because I am a lazy reviewer, i shall bullet point...
-I loved the line
"A hand came from somewhere;
not above nor below me,
not from one side nor the other;
the hand came from everywhere,
and from nowhere."
because it dispelled the mental image of a giant scooping hand, and thus the image of a man with a big white beard populerized by painting and image.
-I am very happy you capitalized "God" and "Him". I get really annoyed when people forget, especally in published works.
-I dissagree, like so many others before me, with Vampirelover101, and as the freedom of speach is unoppressed here, go for it!
Take That You Fiend!
Thank you so much for the review! Yes, the image of God as a big scary guy with huge hands just doesn't cut it for me, I think He is everywhere and nowhere and all around us.
I disagree with VampireLover101 too. I thought this piece was beautiful and what's a better reason to write poetry then when you are inspired? I can't think of a better reason. It was an amazing piece and I was just so caught up in it. Your wording was great, and your figurative language was amazing! Don't listen to the people who say you shouldn't write about religion, because that was beautiful. Way to go!
Sorry, vampirelover101, but I totally and absolutely disagree with you.
Writing comes from the heart, and God clearly dwells within this girl's heart.
She writes what's written on her heart, and I think that's somethign that should be admired.
I do agree with Desire, that line would sound much more lovely if it were "shattered" or fracture" or something. ^-^
I love it --Charade
Don't stop what your doing, cause its awesome.
Punctuation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Needs more, oh, and just because it's poetry doesn't mean every first letter needs to be capitalized; it follows the punctuation. But, otherwise, this was an awesome poem. Never-ever-ever-never-never-ever stop writing!
Hi there
This poem is very dramatic and descriptive, well done! Just something you might want to take a look at. The line that says "My tears banged against my chest", maybe change the word banged to shattered?? Anyways, well done on your piece
xxx
Wow, I love this piece. It really enlightened me. It brought tears to my eyes.
I especially love this part. ^ It shows that God is everywhere and nowhere. He is amazing.
Thank you for writing this. I feel that, in a way, God has led me to find it. This piece has given me encouragement. That when you ask, you shall receive. When you call, God answers. He is always there. I will definitely go back to this several times when I feel in doubt or troubled, and remember. It may not touch others, but it touched me. Sometimes, I feel lost or disconnected. Then, I see Him, and everything is alright. This piece enhanced the feeling.
I'm sure you had some kind of divine inspiration. Truly, this is a work of art. May God be with you wherever you go; let Him guide you. God bless and have a wonderful day. Thank you, again. <3
I like your piece. It's very good. But the one thing that consernes me is that you wrote about something to do with religion. I am a god lover to but some people may not be, so Im just saying that try a diffrent topic. Thats all im sugesting. There is nothing wrong about loving God or hating him or having a diffrent religon just try to pick another topic.