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140,110 Literary Works • 673,017 Reviews
Hey Cailey! I'm not much of a poetry reviewer, so bear with me. First let me say, this is really pretty :3 I really enjoyed the way it flowed so naturally. It felt sort of cute and fun, and the rhymes helped with that.
The only way I could possibly see to improve on this is right in the beginning, where "stretched" and "stretching" are right next to each other. Now I know repetition in poetry is good - I use it all the time myself, and you used it excellently elsewhere in this piece, but right here it might be nice to choose something different to describe one or the other. Maybe even "reaching", just to pull in the title in a really solid way.
Anyway, the poem was awesome, and I hope this helped a little bit! Write on, and God bless!
~DragonGirl11
You should read Cruel Trick! It's inspired by this poem!
THIS IS AMAZING!!!
At first, I will admit, I pictured the Lucky Charms Leprechaun. But, don't worry, that image did not stick! By the middle of the poem, I realized what is could represent. A girl grasping out above for her dreams, for perfection, but just when she is about to reach it, the world makes her dreams dissappear. Honestly, the last stanza reminded me of Shel Silverstein. I don't know why.
Another reason why I like this poem, and there are many reasons, was the fact that I love rainbows. That sounds stupid, but I think they are a little reminder from above that no matter how long or how bad the storm is, there will always be a little rainbow at the end. Everything will be ok.
Yet another reason was the rhyming! I love rhyming! Maybe that makes me biased, but I think anyone would have to agree with me. It really helps keep the pace of the poem flowing.
I don't have any thoughts on how to make this better. I'm sure there are ways, as there always are, but my mind (the darned thing) is blocking them out!
I hope you write more poems about rainbows and such. I hope you write more poems in general. Heck, I hope you just keep writing beause I really enjoyed your style!
Thanks so much! I mean, I know it's good to get awful cruel reviews that tell you all the things you need to fix. But writing is made worth while by the encouraging comments like this. Thanks tons, and I love rainbows as well.