It reaches into my soul
And tears me apart,
One piece at a time.
It devours me.
Somehow,
It slipped into my dreams;
It filled my thoughts and emotions.
It refused to let peace
Come back into my life.
All I wanted was
To get rid of it;
I wanted it gone-
Forever-
Out of my life.
I wanted to smile again.
But it wouldn’t let me.
It drowned out love
With hate;
It burrowed through my memory
And brought out pain and loss.
I couldn’t breath,
It drained me.
I was being suffocated,
And it wouldn’t leave me alone.
I needed to get away from it;
I needed a reminder of true love,
And then,
In God’s word- in His love-
It was gone;
I was free again.
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139,491 Literary Works • 672,583 Reviews
This is a well written poem! Well done! I like the flow of the lines and the mysterious 'monter' you talk of.
There was only one spelling error that I saw it was:
But I guess you were so inspired that it was just a slip.
Nice work! Keep writing
The critical aspect of this piece that I enjoyed was the smoothness in transition from the beginning to the end. It was like following a very short but energy-packed story brimming with emotion. I actually liked the use of "it" as it allowed the reader to insert something similar based on their life experience to further connect with the piece. Keep on writing.
Sincerely,
Elitehusky
I love the imagery here! I am not sure exactly what object that you are talking about but that is a great thing. It could be any thing. It is better that way so that the reader is left to explore and imagine what you are talking about. For me it could be a nightmare of even a weapon. My favorite part is the intro...
immediately the reader reads the first couplets, they are atomatically hooked making them anxious to read on. nice technigue! keep writing, you are truly talented!First off, Hi. Secondly, this piece is pretty good. It has a great deal of emotion in it which gives it an extra boost. I also loved the fact that it seemed to have a subliminal message in it about God and his love. But what I find odd, is the fact that you talk about "it" through out the entire piece up until the last stanza, you seemed to ignore this "it". I am not sure if you did this on purpose, but to me it seemed odd, and I feel it doesn't bring closure. I could be wrong in saying this, as I don't know a lot about poetry, but it could use one more stanza about how god's love made "it" go away.