My fist
in your face.
But you
always
win.
Attempt number one at writing the shortest poem I can. I can't promise that this will be the last short poem here... but let me know your thoughts.
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It is a short poem but full of meaning. If I am not mistaken the poem was trying to say that even if the success is near you, others are always winning it. It is okay if sometimes we lose. Losing does not only mean that we are weak sometimes we lose because things are not for us. That's why there is a saying that Try and Try until you succeed.
Yeah, that could be part of the meaning.
Thank you for the review!
But even more than that I was trying to show that sometimes there's nothing you can do to lose. Like sometimes even if you get the punch it won't actually change anything.
And yet so often we keep trying, and that's where the title comes in "If Only"
Haja, now I'm like analyzing my own poem.
Yeah, that could be part of the meaning.
Thank you for the review!
But even more than that I was trying to show that sometimes there's nothing you can do to lose. Like sometimes even if you get the punch it won't actually change anything.
And yet so often we keep trying, and that's where the title comes in "If Only"
Haja, now I'm like analyzing my own poem.
this is actually perfect. I have no idea what to say, except that i love it. I really do! This seems actually rather powerful, and seems to describe to me someone who is always getting in fight with someone, with the seeming advantage, yet somehow always lsing ina most complexing fashion! keep it up!
Thank you for the review!
Thank you for the review!
Since the poem is so short I find myself rather lacking in anything to really say about it. I believe you have won at writing the shortest poem ever in my eyes. I can understand that due to writing something with very little detail having depth and emotion would be very difficult. Hence why I'm taking this light-heartedly. All in all an okay poem, it wasn't bad, but there wasn't very much good to talk about. Happy writing.
Thanks for the review!
Hi Cailey!
While your attempt at a short poem did result in a decent length, I felt that you need to cover the subject matter in a more philosophical, maybe thought-provoking way.
To put it simply, your poem is kind of blunt until you read the lines:
"But you
always
win".
Is this suggesting domestic abuse? I'd suggest putting "always" and "win" into one line. Overall, good job. Keep working at it!
-Sbitonti
Thanks. I meant to have always on a line of its own, kind of emphasizing it. But win does look weird on a line by itself.
Hey there Cailey!
Er... since it's a super short poetry... I do not know what to say .-.
But I don't know why I find it hilarious xD
Oh well, I don't know what to say
With all the turnips, tomatoes, carrots and pancakes in the world,
~Gigi
Thanks. I know it's hard to review such a short poem, but it's for a contest and so I was trying to make it as short as I could and still include meaning.