I remember
the sound of water lapping against the edges,
splash, splash, and the boat tips
first to one side and then the other.
I remember
the noises of laughter and singing,
too many kids with too much excitement,
and we just wanted to get to the village,
and off the boat.
I remember
the feeling of boredom,
when six hours turned into ten
and ten hours into twelve
and twelve into fifteen
and finally fifteen into seventeen
long,
long,
long hours.
Apparently a big motor makes a big difference.
I remember
the excitement coursing through our bones,
as fast as the Amazon river
that bubbled along beneath us
when we tried to throw bread in,
hoping to see an alligator or dolphin,
a piranha at least.
I remember
the sunset
orange and red and brown and grey and blue and green and pink and purple,
colors we didn't even have names for,
and six rainbows
one after the other,
and the rain in front and the jungle on the sides.
I remember
the twenty last
"twenty more minutes"
when we passed Pebas and Rosa and Zion
and saw the split in the river
that would take us to Praga.
I remember
when they finally said
"we're here"
and we all laughed
because we didn't believe them.
But they were telling the truth.
I remember
seeing the kids on that first day,
and I knew,
at that moment,
that right there-
green palm branches
and muddy pathways
and brown river
and lifted up, flooded houses
and black eyed kids all laughing
because we were the color of milk-
that was were I was meant to be.
And I was happy.
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139,491 Literary Works • 672,583 Reviews
This is not the Peru I remember. (Hah, we were in Lima, mundos en todos, diferentes.)
Anyway, beautiful poem nonetheless. I love the color that you breathe into this. It's different, it's fresh, and it makes us feel that we're on that boat with you, heading through that tangled forest.
This is the only section that bugged me. It seems raw and coarse and racial. Detracting from the rest of the piece. It's different in wording and flow then everything that proceeded it too, and just sort of sticks out like a sore thumb. Maybe revise it to flow better.
Good work and keep writing!
~ED
haja, yeah, the Amazon was definitely different than Lima. (We stopped in Lima for a few days on the way back.)
I will see what I can do about that stanza.
But the kids did run around and tell me I looked like milk. Like every single day. We were the first group of foreigners to enter the village, so they'd never seen so many people with such light skin.
But I will try and change that and make it fit in more.
Hi cailey, this is Raq with first review on your poem. I love the poem that portrays the feeling a traveler who was visiting an amazing place. Like you with the Peru.Each stanzas tells every thing you experienced while travelling there. Excitement and joy, mixed and be an inspiration for you to write a poem. It was a valuable experience to read and give a little element of humor in this stanza;
Nice poem to read. I just like the way you expressed your feelings and experiences here!Keep writing
Thank you for this review!! I'm glad you liked it!!
Hi cailey, I enjoy reading your poem. It is adventures to me because I really love to travel! Indeed good poem
Wait, you got to go to Peru? *Huffs* Oh Hi, I'm here to review for you
You don't have any punctuation when there is talking, but besides that your technical junk, I mean stuff:) was all good.
I would like to know who the other people with you were. Were you on a mission trip of some sort, or a class trip? I really enjoyed it overall and how your style of writing was in this poem. Not much else I can say, but good job.
Keep it up!
I adore this poem :') Probably because I like the idea of entering other cultures and I believe the final stanza is amazing! I really have nothing to criticize because I don't know a lot about poetry. It was a good poem and I liked the two lines about the "twenty last 'twenty more minutes"'. You really capture the experience of visiting Peru. You should try writing a haiku about the experience because haiku are great for describing events such as this.