My Hero

by Cailey

  • Poetry
  • Fanfiction · Other

Published February 3, 2012

In Poetry

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This is for school, and it's supposed to be written by a fifth grader, so I don't want it to be perfect. But, I do want it to be good, and my teacher wants it to be good, so any advice is welcome. Thanks.

Some people would think of superman or flash,
Men who can shoot webs, or fly, or dash-
But not me. My hero was not a god,
Not a genius or a king with a golden rod.
 
No, my hero was just a man, once a boy,
Who chose to take up a pen as his toy.
He was born in Ireland in 1898
And grew up on stories that were fantastically great.
 
He lived, like any kid, with a world of his own
Which he kept alive even after he’d grown.
He went to Wynard, Cherbourg and Campbell,
With crazy teachers, or at least so they tell.
 
As he grew up he saw pictures in his head-
Like a snowy witch who from a lion fled,
A fawn in a wood with a scarf against the winds,
And a whole planet made of floating islands.
 
So from his hand came a mountain of books
That fill library corners and nooks,
Fairytales for children, legends for youth
And doctrines for adults full of infallible truth.
Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Mysticalxx
Review
Mysticalxx wrote a review Review · Aug 4, 2015

This is about C.S Lewis, isn't it? :) Is it? I mean, I got it from the reference " Like a snowy witch who from a lion fled". I love the Chronicles of Narnia too!

There aren't much errors, just that you need to work on the first stanza a bit. I mean, make it a bit more creative, instead of just flat out saying that your hero is not any cliche hero. I don't mean to be offensive, I'm just trying to help you. :)

I love the last stanza! The poem is really good overall.

Keep it up!

Mysticalxx

User avatar
iluvfbnrtr Review
iluvfbnrtr wrote a review Review · Jul 11, 2012

It's really good:) You have good rhythm and it's really cool how you used all the good references people can relate to and can imagine themselves thinking of what you're referring to (i.e. 'some people would think of superman or flash'). Almost anyone can relate to this, I do. My hero is my grandfather, not Spiderman or Superman or anything most boys and girls would say... and most would say their father or mother too... You make a good point and it's an amazing poem. Very structured and creative. I love your poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,
Rachel <3 :)
P.S. It's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



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