Motivation

I'm guessing you are in team red. My name is Take That You Fiend, and it is your lucky day, because I will promply review three of your works, assuming the computer lasts that long...
This is a very nice insperational poem, (war poem?) I like the consistant rhythm, and also the broken rhythm of the last line,
"Just know- don't forget- Team Red won't back down."
I feel however that the last line would look better if it was rhyming couplets. Just an idea.
I don't know why, but I think
"Walls full of writers will write 'till the death,"
should be "to the death,". Perhaps it is more cliched?
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

Here to review!

My name is Omniyus, and will I be reviewing this fine piece of poetry for you today? Yes, yes I will. So, time to review!

Red will rise up with our hearts full of fire.

Howdy Cailey! Just trying to bump up some points for team Red (WOOT WOOT) I thought this piece was cute and sweet. Although, I almost never advise this, but in this style of fun and short poem it would work extremely well if you added in some rhyming here. It'll just give it more of playful and fun feel to it if you're able to pull of rhyming well. If not, no worries tis a mere suggestion.

"Flashes of Rainbows and bursts of amazing,"

I don't think I really like "amazing" here in this line. Maybe try saying "amazement" or "astonishment" or something else along those lines.

"tubes of fantastic"

Try rephrasing this and saying: "flashes" or "blasts" just to keep on the shining and exploding light theme.

I like the second stanza, great imagery and it flows nicely. It has a light feel to it about how intimidating Red team is and how devoted the YWS reviewers are. Although I think it would be a flurry of typing and the clicking of keys instead of ink.

Nice ending, good way to bring closure and make a statement. All and all a short cute piece that's nice. I enjoyed reading it, let's go Red team! Let me know if you ever need a review. Keep up the good work!

TuckEr EllsworTh

Hey Cailey,

So this is a very fun poem and, as a team member of Red Team I fully support you (haha!), but we can make it even better - your word choice for example, is a little superlative when it would carry much more effect if simpler and better structured.

Here's an example:
I've edited your first stanza to read,

Flashes of Rainbows and bursts
of gigantic, powerful tubes of fantastic.
Ruthless and heartless, full of reviewing,
Red will rise up with hearts full of fire.

Just know,
never forget,
Team Red.
We won't back down.

Haha , this poem is so fun It's gonna be my first reviewing day and this really gave me some motivation and also a taste of what it will be like the one thing that disturbed me though was 'fantastic' written twice and so close to each other . But anyways Green team won't raise a white flag either !

I liked this poem actually. It did amp me up for review day! My favorite line was "Green, and then Yellow, and Blue if they're daring"

My critique would be going into more detail. You can do this by writing more descriptive words, describing the emotions of being in a team with much much more detail, and going into the idea of the teams more and what they stand for. I'd recommend using a thesaurus. (I use http://www.wordhipp.com ) or you can google it if that doesn't fit your needs; there's many sites to use.
I would also like to recommend you use a better flow. It was not constant through out this piece. The reader will be more interested and passionate about the piece if you keep a consistent rhythm going through out the entire piece. It makes your reader understand your work better, be a bit more focused through out, and keep reading!

Thanks for the pump up; but team Blue all the way!
-Coley. c: