I have a cup of hedgehog-
it's sitting on my desk.
Its fur looks rather poky-
though mine is made of cloth,
and there it sits with open arms,
right in my old green cup.
Yes, yes, that cup,
from the old curiosity shop.
With the keyhole handle
and the scroll and quill and ink.
But anyway- the hedgehog-
my furry little friend.
Just sits and stares and waits
while my keys go crazy typing.
Don't ask me why this matters,
why my hedgehog's in a cup,
don't even ask the hedgehog's name,
for I won't give you an answer,
and last of all, and most of all,
the question you can't ask:
Don't ask me why I write all day, or why I always type.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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139,244 Literary Works • 672,522 Reviews
This truly is an original subject matter. Love the hedgepig!
Right, when I clicked on this link, I didn't know what to expect. The title is deeply intriguing, and stood out from all your other works. The other good thing is that, after reading, I was left with the slight impression that it had in fact rhymed. This indicates that the poem has good rhythm and pacing.
Very muchly well done,
Take That You Fiend!
Thanks! Every once in a while I like to just make some silly nonsensical poem about hedgehogs.
Knight Malachi here to review for Review Day, which is pretty hectic at the moment.
So that is so cute!!!!!! I think that is awesome that you have your cute little hedgehog right there sitting in the old cup.
Yes, yes, that cup,
from the old curiosity shop.
With the keyhole handle
and the scroll and quill and ink.
Number one I love that stanza, number two I love, and wish I had the cup, even more. That is totally not fair to have that there. I need to get some sort of thing that I have with me whenever I write.
Only thing is for me it would have to be why I write all night, verses day, for you, but each to his/her own time.
Keep it up!
Happy review Day!!!!
I usually write more during the day- because I love asleep and am usually in bed by 9
haja!
Thank you!
and I bought the cup at a thrift shop in Colorado, and then saw it in thrift shops all over the US all summer.
Awww that thing is soo cute, I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it!! I want it tooo
It's the most adorable thing I have ever ever ever seen!!!
Oh by the way hey! Umaima here to review your submission of that wonderful cute little thing!
I am just going to tell you that I loved the poem and thought it was just wonderful! I loved the idea, the plot the way you described things and the way you ended it!!My fav lines were:
"Don't ask me why this matters,
why my hedgehog's in a cup,
don't even ask the hedgehog's name,
for I won't give you an answer,
and last of all, and most of all,
the question you can't ask:
Don't ask me why I write all day, or why I always type."
-Umaima
Thank you so much!!! I'm glad you liked it!!
Knight Dragon, here to bestow a review upon your work on the wonderful Review Day!
Technical:
"Yes, yes, that cup,
from the old curiosity shop.
With the keyhole handle
and the scroll and quill and ink."
I felt the second line of this stanza should have a comma instead of a period.
"But anyway- the hedgehog-
my furry little friend.
Just sits and stares and waits
while my keys go crazy typing."
The same exact comment as before.
Content:
Um, okay...so what was this supposed to do, exactly? I read this, and am totally confused as to what the theme of this is supposed to be. Any help?
I think you need to pick a clear theme and stick with it, then rewrite this poem a little bit.
Hope this helps! Happy Review Day!
Yeah, I guess that was my problem. I didn't really have a theme in mind- just a hedgehog.
Usually I try to put more meaning into the poem, but this one was just a quick thing because I wanted to write.
Ok, i'm trying to get points, and it didn't give me any for the last one because it didn't think i had four complete sentences cuz of the ...'s...so here it is again, minus those.
"Too cute!! so silly and funny. The rhythm is good, i agree with Liaya. You did good at not being too wordy, but at the same time, describing everything well... Also, i think the last line should be two, like Liaya said. Other than that, it's awesome!! Cute, fun, and just plain funny and silly!!:)"
This is really cute! I don't really have any criticism for you. This was just a really cute, and like what the other reviewer said whimsical piece. This was just a really fun, crazy lighthearted piece. I think I needed a break of the drab depressive nature of society for a moment. So thank you for giving me that. I agree with Liaya thougg. The last line should be split up. It just looks out of place. Other than that, good job! Cute poem and hedgehog in a cup!
Thanks! My mom thinks it sucks, so it's good to know other people enjoy the whimsical lighthearted poem.
Too cute!! so silly and funny... the rhythm is good, i agree with Liaya...you did good at not being too wordy, but at the same time, describing everything well... also, i think the last line should be two, like Liaya said...other than that, it's awesome!! cute, fun, and just plain funny and silly!!:)
Thank you!!
Lol, this is complete nonsense! I love it!
The rhythm is really good and the tone is fun...it's just great. It's just totally whimsical. Your word choice is good, your style is fun. It's just well done. I do think the last line kind of jars the rest of the rhythm. I'd suggest splitting it into two lines:
"Don't ask my why I write all day,
Or why I always type."
Other than that, great job. Thanks for the fun read!
Thank you!!
This poem is so cute, I do not even dare to review XD.So I just hit 'like' there.That is mean,I like it
Thank you!!
I think this poem is really cute. I love how you're also directly talking to the reader.I found myself smiling before I was even done with it.It's so simple yet adorable,fun,and creative. This is a really great poem c: Good job!
Thank you! Glad you liked it.