Young Writers Society

Hi Cailey, was just browsing some of the religious poetry on YWS and saw this and thought I'd leave a quick review even though it's more than a few years old - turns out it's just as relevant nowadays. :]

Premise
I think more people ought to stand for what they believe and be willing to declare it for all to hear! As Romans 10:9 says, "If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." and I think that's what you're doing here - making a clear treatise / stand for your beliefs and faith.

Content
As a few other reviewers mentioned this does piece does seem reminiscent of the ecumenical Christian creeds (Apostles, Nicene, Athanasian) the word "creed" comes from the Latin "credo" which means "I believe" so I actually think it's wonderful that you've written one for your own particular beliefs and sort of personalized / humanized / individualized these beliefs that many people around the world and throughout the centuries also believe but claimed them for yourself.

To me the lines that felt a bit more "personal" were particularly impactful like "I believe my life belongs to my King" the double emphasis on "my" really emphasized this. Another line like that was "I believe that no matter what I do, He will never stop loving me." I think that's a very impactful important faith statement - if you ever revise this for some reason, that would maybe be a suggestion is to see if there's ways you can make some of the lines even more personalized - like speaking of God saving the world, but then personally too - as I think that will stand out to readers especially!

Suggestions
You handle a lot of theologically complicated concepts with simple and direct language without creating heresy; which is not easy to do in the least! I like especially how you handled the divinity + humanity of Jesus. I think the line about the Holy Spirit was a bit loose to me? but that was the only line I was a little more iffy on what you were going for - since I think the Bible shows a bit more expansive role for the HS than just "reminding people of Jesus" but rather creating faith itself.

Overall I really loved reading this, and I'm betting it was an encouragement and witness to all who read it. Thank you for declaring your faith!

all the best,

alliyah

It's work of this nature that leads me to no longer pay the 'Featured' section any attention. Because, seriously, this isn't great. I don't believe this has left anyone inspired (with exception to the already devout.) The rest of us are left nauseated, with the bitter sense one feels when a cheque is written but not cashed.

There was a feeling that something grand was coming, some insight. A sleight on religion, but it really was that blind.

VERY nice.

I don't know. This looks more like a creed than an actual poem. I mean, we (my church and I) recite the Nicene Creed every time we go to church, and this is what it kind of looks like. That doesn't make it bad, of course, but I don't think this really belongs in poetry, where statements can be confused with metaphors too much.

AMEN! That is what being a Christian means!
As soon as I read "I Believe" I was like, ugh, another hopelessly romantic poem. Then I read the first line, and I was completely taken aback; I did not expect something so truthfully stated like that. It was really beautiful, no matter how simplistic it seemed. *Likes*

<3 This is beautiful! It's so simple and true! You deserve a cookie. *gives Cailey a cookie*

I personally quite liked this piece, yes it was of unusual format, but the point was there. Do not let some opinions get you down, keep writing !!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA1IMSRN ... ata_player

:p

It's work of this nature that leads me to no longer pay the 'Featured' section any attention. Because, seriously, this isn't great. I don't believe this has left anyone inspired (with exception to the already devout.) The rest of us are left nauseated, with the bitter sense one feels when a cheque is written but not cashed.

There was a feeling that something grand was coming, some insight. A sleight on religion, but it really was that blind.

AMEN SISTAH hehe I can't really give a whole lot of commentary here because it wasn't exactly a whole piece, but way to get it out You could maybe turn it into an unrhyming poem? I say don't rhyme it because then it will sound like a 5 year old Sunday School chant or something. Just maybe put a rhythm in it and you have a lovely poem to be proud of! Keep preachin'!

~Jess

This sounds a lot like something one would say in church, like where the priest says one line and the congregation says the other? With some of them, I have slightly more liberal views (lets not get into that), but most of them make me want to shout AMEN! Times are tough, and sometimes we just need to remember that God is there for us. Now, I can't really review this, as it's simply a list, but take this into concideration. Write a story about it. A short story, where every one of these things come into play, and when it comes to something on the list, italize it. I just think it would be cool, and perhaps even more touching.

This will be hard for me to review, as a Christian. You put 25 I believes. And to each one I say: AMEN!

On another note, I would print this off and lamanet it. Stick it up on your bedroom wall where you can always see it

I would also (and this will make you feel much better), write a list of all the promises of God that he has promised you, either personally, or indirectly from His Word and put it up in your room. Then you will not only be reminded of what you believe but you will constantly be reminded of God's abounding Grace and goodness towards you

Maybe get a poster of "Footprints in the Sand". And yeah, this world will get you done, it will let you down. Humanity is evil. But never give up, never lose hope

Hebrews 12:2 - Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.