Ask Me Why

I really loved how you say all of your deepest things. It must have been really hard to say those things. You may think those thing, but they ware not true. I could tell that the girl was going thorough a break up between her and her boyfriend. I could actually feel how the character was feeling. You really have a passion for writing.

Ask me about paradise,
Though I know of none.
Because you ruined them all,
Without a second thought
With your cruel stinging words.
And your quick, flashing sneers.

Right there was my most favorite part because it is saying to me that the girl is yelling at a friend saying ask me about how good it was, but I do not know because her boyfriend broke up with her. I honestly know how the character feels because I have thought, wrote, and said all of those things.

After all it was really a awesome poem.

Your Friend,
RosePetal8965

I loved this poem! It's incredibly realistic and simple, yet powerful. It depicts an uglier side of society and you described it beautifully.

I loved the lines:
"Ask me why I'm fat.
I ate my sorrows.
Because of your,
Merciless taunting,
And immortal teasing."
The word immortal is just so powerful here. I've never seen it used this way, and I really like it. It emphasizes the severity and longevity of bullying.

Very nice job! Happy writing

Hey, defyingravity! Here to review your poem!

I can't exactly say that I found any grammar/spelling mistakes, though those would be trivial things to point out in such a powerful piece. I don't typically review poetry, but I took a leap of faith this Review Day and decided to pick out a few that I would try to review.

I felt connected to the narrator right off the bat, as I have known the pain and torture she describes. Without saying much of anything, you said it all. The way things were worded and the way your stanzas are so uniform and written similarly really helped me to understand the severity of the narrator's pain and mental anguish. The stanza that specifically spoke to me was stanza four, regarding the narrator being poor because her mother stayed home comforting her through sleepless nights instead of working the late shift that they so desperately needed. I feel this piece was powerful and makes for a fantastic stance against bullying. You should submit this to some kind of contest!

-FireFox

Beccalicious94 here to review your poem. I wanted to start off by saying I really liked your piece. I thought you took the topic and expounded on it with clear examples that really hit home and made me empathize with the narrator. With each stanza, I feel for the narrator and with the second to last stanza you explain how badly the antagonist hurt your narrator. I like the repetition of the first stanza at the end as it ties it back together. Overall great work. Keep it up, and write on!