Grace, As Shown By My Dad

Just to quickly remark on what previous commenters said, whether or not something qualifies as a poem is rather... vague. It usually, but not always, is a blend of both normal speech and song. A poem may have some kind of internal meter, rhythm, metaphors, a series of stanzas, etc. It may also have none of those things. In any case, I think this pretty clearly qualifies as a poem.

However, @TheSilentBagpipe's comment that this is more like a short story is an interesting observation, and one that I find myself kind of agreeing with. Good poetry is often like that; though brief, a good poem is masterful in its ability to portray not only an entire scene, but an entire history as well in just a few brief stanzas. A good poem shares many of the same characteristics as a short story, and that is something that I think a lot of poets forget.

This is a good poem. For one, it produces a strong emotional response, but doing just that is easily done. After all, generating emotion is a cheap trick; I can write a poem in ten seconds that does just that by writing something that's highly offensive. Give me thirty seconds, and I can write something that makes you feel good and smart for being such an awesome & caring person.

The emotional reaction generated by this poem, though, is one that is hard to do: to use a word from the author's first line, it's "unsettling." A son's love for his mother is admirable, and it's natural empathy. It is the type of love that runs deep, and one that can only exist between parents and their children (and vice versa). And because that type of love runs deep, it is all the more tragic when the parent abuses that love by striking out at the child. There are few things that we judge to be worse in our society than a parent who abuses their child.

That the son not only forgives the mother for her actions, but also shows love and affection is an act of indescribable virtue. Yet it remains unsettling for two chief reasons, both of which deal with us, the readers. For one, should we forgive the mother as the son has, show her affection in her old age? But more importantly, are we capable of doing what the son did in our own lives? It is difficult to regard virtuous acts when we are not certain that we could act in such a way, leading to feelings of uneasiness. It is far easier to look the other way, or to say, "Yeah, but..."

Beyond generating a strong, emotionally varied response, this poem is also well written. It is economical in its syntax -- the simplicity of which is all the more striking when set against its subjects. This is, after all, a simple act: holding someone's hand is just a quick action. In the author's choice of language, we get to see it through the eyes of both the son and of the narrator. For the son, it is simple as highlighted by the syntax. For the narrator, it is complex, as highlighted by the choice of diction.

But, the poem is not perfect. I would remove the "ever" in the sixth and seventh lines. It is an extraneous word that adds complexity were no complexity should ever exist. I'd also replace the semi-colon; the one at the end of the first stanza. It's a self-contained stanza, and stands weaker when it does not end with the forcefulness of a period.

I might also replace 'down' with 'across' in the third line. I like how the incident is placed in a sort of vague sense of time and place -- it highlights that it's not how or where it happened that matters but rather that it happened at all. But by saying 'down stairs,' it reads too much like 'downstairs,' which gives it a sense of place. Changing the down to across keeps the time and place of it vague while ensuring no confusion on the part of numbskull readers like myself. Yet, the question of whether an author should change a word due to the intellectual shortcomings of a reader is an open-ended question...

Overall, this is a good poem and one that you should be proud of. Thank you for sharing it.

Hello. I can feel your empathy towards this boy, I can feel the pain from your words.
This is short, indeed, but very, very powerful.
I could only think of some minor changes in the second stanza: to add the word "an" between "there's" and "unnatural" in the first line, and maybe change "palm" to "palms", unless you want to express the one hand he uses to hold his mother's hand (at least, I assume it's his mother).
I think qualifies perfectly as a poem, it causes you to read it at least twice to understand everything. A short story is perfectly understandable after reading it once. I personally prefer literary works that need analysing, such as this one. I think you did an amazing job.

Very good theironnovelist! I only have one suggestion. I don't think this really qualifies as a poem. When I read it it was more like a short story... Or something.
It would make a good poem though, it's whatever you prefer. =}

I love this. There aren't enough poems about this topic.