If it were ever feasible
I should uphold myself as a true power,
a demonstrated god.
I should present myself among races and proclaim:
He who lucidly embarks upon the minds of others
Ardently fabricating into pawns;
He should surely make an incredible feat.
But sensibility and nature steal our zealous hand
Howling out like a storm:
There is no divinity in one created!
For he does naught but create
that which has already been done.
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Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,785 Reviews
Hello CapitalMonday here, a review from the nest. To begin, i like how you used tone to describe how the an artist can almost create almost anything with their mind and soul. The wonder of many artist is that have people already made something to do with their art or writing then when they do the artwork, they get shot down by what they did.
I agree to this poem since I too was an artist. I could paint gold hairs on a beautiful head or a sea of both blue and green but my worry is that anyone else done this writing or what can I use to help me wrote a better poem/story, Then when I look at this poem, I think and I wish I could write like you since this poem is amazingly well-written and it gets the point across more than I would think.
Also Keep Writing because well,,,, writing is awesome!
Farewell,
CapitalMonday
this is a great poem. Short and sweet lines have so much substance in them. It is short, but I can really sit and decipher a lot of meaning in your lines.I do have one question, In the last
lines do you say, an artist is not something rare because he creates what has already been done? I'm not sure if I agree all the way with that.I whatever an artist creates is divine even if it is divine just for him.Good poem though
thanks! it is hard to grasp what I'm trying to get across in this poem without explaining it. it was derived from my feelings of wishing to create something from nothing, which, I personally believe, is not possible for us humans, because I believe we and everything around us was created.
Hey there! I'll go ahead and review this for you. It's pretty short and, in my opinion, already rather a good poem, but I'll still give it a shot.
I think the first stanza is flawless. Simple, few words, clear opening. I can almost see an empowered stance in front of a mirror, pep talking yourself like you're talking down to swarms of followers before oneself. It is incredibly strong for how short it is. Awesome.
The next line, I think you should attach it to the stanza afterwards, and then use either quotations or italics to distinguish the dialogue from the rest.
Also, here I don't think should works best, I think would would be more appropriate.
I liked the ending, haven't got anything else to add