Citadel

I loved this poem, it's so powerful and it touched my heart - you are very gifted and should be proud of your talent. I especially love the line, 'But if you wish to, Take the fire to the tips of your fingers.' It was so dramatic and contained vast amounts of passion. Your spelling, punctuation and grammar was perfect, I cannot possibly fault this poem.


Keep up the great work!

priceofwords

I just read your other poem "3", where I really admired your writing skill, and to my great pleasure, this poem is just as amazing in word-use and form as the other one. It also has amazing flow.

I really like how you with such a few words can create such emotion, and how fantastic your imagery is, it's very advanced and I greatly envy you that.

I disagree with "sbf1102" that you should add punctuation of some sort after each stanza, because in poetry the writer has complete freedom to do as they like, and I actually really like how you don't use much of it, because from not using a full stop for example, you make the reader think that it's not the end of the line, that there's more to the story, and this is perfect in this case. It's perfect because there's a reason that - I'm just going to say "you're" - confused, a reason to why you're fragile, and you don't let those reasons be known, you leave the readers wondering, and this is not only achieved through great writing-skill, but also in the way that the poem is portrayed and set up.

I think you have done an amazing job with this poem, and I'm definitely coming back to read more of your stuff, because it's simply amazing the amount of emotion you can create from just a few words.

Thank you for sharing this

Really awesome!

I loved the flow in your poem. Very free - style --- a PERFECT beginning to your poem - writing career!

One thing though:

I would add a period or some other punctuation mark to the end of every stanza. I think that this would be a great improvement to your piece and its appearance

Otherwise, it's perfect!

Keep on writing! <3

Highest Regards,

--- Sophia ( a. k. a. sbf1102 )

Wow.
It was really nice!

I found the ending a bit abrupt, but that's not a huge problem.
I liked your writing style and the way your short sentences expressed so much.
It was a very powerful poem, and I like the way you italicised the line -

"My passion is vicious"

- (it hasn't come italicised here)

I noticed you only put a full stop/period at the end of the entire poem. Was this intentional?

Keep writing!

Awesome! I do very much like this. (awesome grammar there)
Just wondering if you wrote this based off emotions, or it's just a thing that came to mind...
good job.
#notspamming
-rissymay

Hi theironnovelist!

I sincerely love the last line of this poem; it lets me know you have the potential to be an excellent poet, but it also made me realized your beginning could be just as catchy. I love imagery in poetry, and if you take a close look at your poem, it seems like you begin to express yourself different at the end of your piece; in the beginning you're telling what you want to share, but later in the poem, you're showing what you're feeling in a way that people can be more empathetic, perhaps. I think imagery is a very fantastic thing about poetry, because it can do one of two things... it can either help the reader see through your glasses, or it could make the reader interpret your piece in a way that they can relate to it. And that is very wonderful. xD So, that's my suggestion: think about imagery and think of how you can use it to affect your readers.

Good job~ Keep writing!

Your friendly neighbor,

GeeLyria