Dreamer's Lament

by theironnovelist

Published November 16, 2014

In Poetry

When will all these thoughts

these perplexities, like grains of sand on an oceanside-

make sense?

Like an arm caught in the intricate web of a spider-

Cogitations muddled again.

A lifetime that would have been spent dreaming

has become a lifetime spent arranging dreams.

Because in reality things must be clear.

But in fantasies

I'd dig inside my skull

pull out my brimming mind

and lay it down for you to see.

Comments & reviews · 4
haywireimagination wrote a review Review · Nov 18, 2014

THIS IS AMAZING! If you don't mind, I copy and pasted this into my inspiration page. :) This is just.... I am at a loss for words. You probably think I am over-reacting, but it's scary how much this describes my mind. I disagree with the other comments below, I like your format. My favorite line is "A lifetime that would have been spent dreaming has become a lifetime spent arranging dreams." I also love "But in fantasies I'd dig inside my skull- pull out my brimming mind- and lay it down for you to see." Keep on writing, please!

thank you so much! You have no idea how much that means. I'm honored. I was really pleased with how this described my own mind, too XD my goal was to have someone relate! I will definitely keep working. (I love your username btw)

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Snazzy
Review
Snazzy wrote a review Review · Nov 17, 2014

Hello! :D
I love this poem!! :D :D :D This is EXACTLY how I feel about MY mind!! :)
"But in fantasies
I'd dig inside my skull
pull out my brimming mind
and lay it down for you to see."
This is my favorite part! But maybe you could put a comma after mind, but it's just a suggestion! :D Great job, and keep writing! :D :D
-Snazzy :)

carmenbluestar wrote a review Review · Nov 16, 2014

You've captured what a lament is, sad but sweet. I agree with your previous review, watch out with your formatting, but really poetry is pretty flexible in most cases so if you feel it flows better your way then all is still wonderful. I have nothing else to really say other than you've done a fabulous job, great vocabulary, great concept, fabulous thoughts for us all to read. Keep up the great work and stay awesome!
-Carmenbluestar :)

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crissymarx
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crissymarx wrote a review Review · Nov 16, 2014

Wow this is deep. I am literally at a loss for words. Not really because I am talking right now...anyway great vocabulary! The only thing I have to comment is to watch your format. I found it hard to follow along because of the dashes and mid-sentence questions. But other than that...great job. keep writing!



I continue to be a reverse hipster, I only do things after they've ceased being cool
— BluesClues