The Theory of Everything Beautiful

Hello, CapitalMonday here for you a review from the nest. I would like to begin that poem has some great imagery in the first two lines and how the poem is short yet powerful. In the beginning of this poem, you can imagine what the first scorn was cast makes me wonder if they first person that hated beauty accidentally made some beautiful. This poem has a great tone since it can be happiness and joyfulness as since no one has seen beauty before.

The poem is short and powerful since it gives a great message saying that yes beauty might have been made by someone ugly (which might have been the case) or that beauty was just placed on this earth next to someone ugly and thought I can make this work.

I could agree to this poem since beauty can be made almost anywhere it is not made since everything around us is in their own beauty either if its someone that is model or an smelly plant that has no color. Everything is beautiful whether you think so or not.

Farewell,
CapitalMonday

This is quite lovely :3. I really think the imagery of the first scorn being cast. That has a good feel when you say it and the image it conjures is quite nice. Also, the word choice of 'Entirety' is fascinating. I read it as eternity the first time I read the poem, and looking back, I think I like this better. It is a much different approach to expressing everything. Not 'The Universe' or anything cliché like that. 'Entirety'. It catches me and holds me up for a minute. My only critique would be to make the second half of the poem more grand. We're dealing with Entirety here, and Everything Beautiful! I think that, without making it much longer or losing the power of its brevity and clarity, you could fiddle around with words and make the last three lines carry that same weight of the first three. There is something ancient and vast about the beginning, and I think you could bring that into the finale. It is quite a lovely expression of the nature and purpose of art, which is a very fertile subject, and not easy to distill into such simple terms, like you have so beautifully done. Keep it up!

I really like this poem. It so perfectly sums up what I feel music and art does for me, how it brings such joy into my life.

I also really like how short it is. It doesn't feel incomplete or anything, despite its short length. It's just simple and succinct.


I do have a couple of suggestions. Your second and third lines were kind of confusing, and this is how I think you could make it more clear.

1.

When the first scorn cast

Entirety yearned cleansing.

Short, yet powerful, this is something I love in all of the poems I read. Your poems are quite outstanding, and this one is no exception. There's not much I can really think to edit with this poem, though there are some things that could use a bit of general tweaking.

I think that at the end of the first two lines, there should be a comma. There should also be one for the second-to-last line, just to add to the voice and flow of the poem. Without them, the poem seems kind of choppy and blocky, like you're coming to a full stop at the end of each line. If there were commas at the ends of some of the lines, I think that could be avoided.

The ending line doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. Are you meaning for art to be the goodness that is pouring from the hearts' cores? If so, you should probably tweak it so that it's more understandable. People don't generally like to read poems that are confusing.

Of course, all of these are just my suggestions! You're not obligated to change anything if you'd rather not ^^

I'll go ahead and give this an 8/10. Keep on writing!

Hey!!!
Haha just had to add to the review list huh? You just beat me to reviewing that last one in the Green Room! Great job by-the-way with that! Anyways!
I have never reviewed poetry! so we will see how I do with this!

Actually all I really have to say is, I think you did a great job! It seems sorta short! But I know how hard it is to write poetry! Are you going to add more to this do you know? I would like to read more! Its usually hard for me to stay interested in poetry, but this one made me want to read more! so great job!