I'm coming home, baby
On the flight I felt alone
Gathered up my luggage
And began my drive home
I see your face in gleaming lights
As my mind travels to you
The highway feels so lonely
And the sky's a navy blue
The exit signs are glowing
Drivers are racing by
But I slow drive and I take my time
Cause it'll be a long night
Well the airport's a crazy place
But as the clock ticks on
I smile then and think of when
I'll see the face you don
I'm headin' under(neath) bridges
And swerving around bends
Curving my way across different lanes
As the trip comes to an en-hend
I pull up at your quiet house
The little porch lights are shinin'
You open the door and my spirit soars
Our smiles connect, intertwinin'
You run to me as I run to you
We collide in a firm embrace
Your warmth resonates through me
I've found the one I'd chased
Don't know how long we stand there
Huggin' 'n' the middle of the night
I breathe in the smell of your skin
The moon is ever so bright
Your heartbeat calms me as your kiss excites me
We hold each other close
I look into your eyes, see my future flashing by
And I don't let you go
Baby I don't let you go, nooo
Baby I won't let you go
If I promise you one thing I can do
It's that I won't let you go
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Hello
I would like to start by letting you know that was a beautifully written piece and I enjoyed looking through it very much. I feel like it is a relateable topic, which made it so much more desirable to read. I am glad that I clicked on it because I was NOT disappointed. So with that being said, here are a few things that I found while reading
"The exit signs are glowing
Drivers are racing by
But I slow drive and I take my time
Cause it'll be a long night"\-----to me, this just seemed a little out of place compared to the stanzas before it, but that may have just been the way I was reading it to myself in my head, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Also, I assume you meant to write "but I slowly drive and take my time" because I think that works better but its okay, its only a simple mistake
Overall, I don't want to be repetitive , but everything I said in my first paragraph was 100% true. This was beautifully done and stirs emotion from people, which every good writer should aspire to do. I truly look forward to reading more of your poems or other forms of writing because this has made my night, it is so well done.
Heya screamingsloth!!
This is Eros here with a review for you...!
This topic attracted me very much--- so thought too peek in... And how could I leave this AWESOME piece un-reviewed by me!?
So... At the first place, as I said the topic is really attractive and very apt to this piece of literary which narrates a story in a unique style... Wait! A story...or rather should I say a journey?...
A beautiful journey described here. A journey in such a great eagerness and keenness to meet the other person, of course a near and dear one or a loved one.
This was indeed romantic. And you have given ample of adjectives to "show" us the romance rather than just "telling" or "narrating" us about it.
Examples of this can be:
the souring or rising high of the spirits as soon as the 'baby' mentioned here opens the door...
Many other things like the scent of the skin, the heartbeats, the smiles etc also helps to see the romance over here... And...What else...?
Yes... One thing I would like to suggest is to inculcate punctuation in here. For there is not a single coma or a semicolon...or anything you know... This is must, I'd say because it helps the reader to get a sense that where he/she should stop, take a little pause or get some information that the idea is in continuation.
Yes, the word, 'continuation' reminds me the flow and continuity of the piece. I should say that this work has an EXCELLENT flow and continuity... Just the little punctuation would help add to it. Well, I do respect if it's your own style, but still, adding punctuation helps a lot...you might have any other personal style also, which I don't mean to suppress or anything like that...
Rest, everything is expressed really BEAUTIFULLY!!
I liked this piece very much...
PS: I am going to experience this if I get good scores in the entrance exams and all, and if I get to travel and then return after a long time...
So... Keep up the GREAT WORK!!
Keep writing such AWESOME and AMAZING stuffs!!
Have a great day/night!
~~Eros.
Aaawwwee I hope you do get to experience something magnificent and indescribable like this!! I have to admit, I like your reviewing style. Instead of long paragraphs and super advances vocabulary, or just randomly rambling on, you make sure to leave a positive touch on your words. Thank you so much! I plan to submit another poem or song in a day
Yes, Sure! I will surely read it!