Young Writers Society

Umm, where did your poem go!! :/ Hopefully your are just taking it down to edit it!

~alliyah

Hey, tGirl, June here,

This poem leaves me with a lot of questions. I want to know what makes this character want to express their inability to be a hero-- all of the claims this individual makes against being a hero are enough to qualify a person to be someone else's personal hero. Maybe you won't save a town or fly via cape a la superman, but a big heart goes a long way.

I appreciated how you kept the stanzas short and sweet, and I like that the poem resolved itself with the fact that just being you seems to be enough. Keep writing,

June

great ! great structure and use of words. I love the way! its excellent and good use of adjectives. i want to read more of your excellent work! your such a great writer and i want to read more of your fantastic work! i love they its set out and i love the way you have used speech and punctuation. Please post more of your work and give everybody the pleasure of reading it!

Most of the things i wanted to say were already mentioned in previous comments or reviews.

I really loved you're poem , it's pretty relatable and different.

I loved the last part where it's like

"I am no hero.
I won’t pretend to be.
But what I am, I’ll offer:
I am me."

great work! keep it up!!

I really like this poem. Short, catchy & sweet =) .
"You're not someone else, you are you."

Hi tgirly!
I'm hanorah and I'll be reviewing your poem today
First off,I love love love this soo much.I think everyone can relate to this in someway.
My favourite description was:I am a crutch that will crack and break.I'll promise I'll try,but I can't take the weight'<really smart,good job!The poem flowed throughout nicely,which in my opinion,is quite hard to do.You have so much potential,keep writing!i would give this poem a ten out of ten.

I really like this poem. It gave me a heroic outlook and the feeling of love 'somewhere'. I'm not sure where I go that from. The stanzas flowed together nicely. Keep writing, good job.

I really like this poem. It is very touchy in a good way. I think you have great potential, I believe we all as human beings have great potential. This poem is a prime example of that. I strongly encourage you to continue writing, because I see that you have a good sense of passion in your poetry Good Work.

I. Am. Speechless. (Or Typeless) This tells so much about you, if it is you, or anyone in one small poem! Greatness! Absolute Greatness here! The thought, effort and time you must have out in this shows a great deal here. Everything else has been pointed out already about this poem, so I shall not ramble too much. Keep up the great work!
~Dark

Hey! Great poem. I appreciate the thought and work you have put behind this. The idea, too, is strong. You have executed it very well. Second stanza is my favorite. The third stanza is a little bit of a struggle to read, with "less" and "sense" not rhyming that much. You might want to change these words to fit in your rhyme scheme better. "I am no poet,.." I beg to differ. You are a poet, and a very talented one too. Great work!

Wow!
So, I really liked this poem. I don't know if I can say anything new because most of it has been discussed previously. Also because there is very little to critic.
You have done a great job and I love the idea, that a person can only offer so much and even if it's not a lot they will anyway.
So great job!
Nargles xxx

Hello! I don't think there is anything more I can say that hasn't been said in previous reviews/comments, but none the less I had to comment and tell you how much I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for writing!

Wow! This is a nice poem.The somewhat indirect nature of the poem makes it beautiful!
I especially liked the way you concluded it!

Wow it's really amazing I like it a lot
I love the last stanza it's so true and I think everyone on planet earth would be
able to relate to that stanza.
I love the emotions in the poem.
It's amazing I don't see any need for correction
Keep writing and inspiring.

Hi darling tally-wa,
I'm here as per request to review thy poem. So onto the review!

Now, I know that capitallzing the first word of each line gives a clean-pollished apearance, but it's not conventionally necessary. Instead you could capitalize it where it's supposed to be capitalized in relation to the sentence.

First stanza 3rd line: "Can’t protect you or save you" I think you could cut the first 'you' to eliminate wordiness.

Besides that I think the 4th stanza maybe needs to be looked at a secound time
"I am no poet;
Barely can keep a rhyme scheme
But I’m honest and I’m here.
Ready and listening."

That 2nd line is just so much longer than all the other ones, and reads a little awkward. Maybe you could eliminate the word 'can' and put: "Barely keep'n a rhyme scheme" And I think that line needs a period at the end, or a comma.

Tallywa, this is one of your best poems by far!! I really am struggling to look for any thing to criticize. Your conclusion is beautiful, insightful, and heartbreaking! Sometimes we have nothing to offer someone else, but to be another soul with an open ear and mind. I said it before, but this could totally be a rap or a song! My favorite lines are these from the 5th stanza:
"But more than that. Also
A heart that has stumbled,
And knows your sorrow."

Your figurative language is absolutley wonderful!! Congratulations on some a wonderful piece, and I wish you luck in all your future writing!!!!!!

~ally-wa~

Mind the edges; take with salt.

First of all, this is an excellently executed poem - meaning it actually satisfies the requirements of being poetic: somewhat beautiful, somewhat indirect.

I will conduct this review by stanza.

I am no hero.
I’ll never stop the pain.
Can’t protect you or save you
Or hurt who’s to blame.

I am a crutch
That will crack and break
I promise I’ll try,
But I can’t take the weight.

I am no wiser
Than you are; less!
This path that I’m on:
It makes no sense.

I am no poet;
Barely can keep a rhyme scheme
But I’m honest and I’m here.
Ready and listening.

I am an ear,
But more than that. Also
A heart that has stumbled,
And knows your sorrow.

I am no hero
I won’t pretend to be
But what I am, I’ll offer:
I am me.

Great to read, and I like the message and thought put into this poem. The analogies and connections you relate it to are excellent and who it is composed it decent,too.

I can totally relate to this. It is really well done and I love that you found a way to put this in word because I've been trying to forever and never could. Like I said, well done, love(:

I really enjoyed reading this, you did a great job well done

This is great. I really enjoyed it. No corrections, from what I can see.

amazing