Chapter 35: The Wait

THESE CHAPTERS KEEP GETTING SHORTER AND SHORTER. AND I'M SO CLOSE TO FORTY-TWO. AAAH. I JUST WANT IT TO LAST FOREVER!!

Hey, Artemis! Wolf here for a review.

So quick thing while I'm still reading, I'm a little confused when the girl with auburn hair runs off. Artemis yells something after her and she's crying. Then Billie accosts her and I just didn't understand what was going on. Was it the same time? What was with her? Whatever you were trying to convey, I recommend some clearing up in that area.

Dang it, you have that magical quality of tugging at my heat strings. The ending becomes so heartfelt, but I do notice it switches pace pretty abruptly. Many of the training sessions do. A lot of them a just briskly summarized, but I'm curious. I want to know how she actually succeeds? What does she do? How does she improve? Maybe think about adding one in.

Another thing I just noticed is I don't really know how to think of Lucian. I can't remember what grade he's supposed to be in because I read that part so long ago, but still, I usually see him a sweet sixteen year old. This chapter and his fierceness really made me realize how I actually see him. He grew like two years in my mind from this, then suddenly shrunk again. I guess him moodswings make him unique, but it's sort of confusing at times.

Otherwise, great chapter as always. What is bugging me, but is not a problem with the chapter, is how Artemis is acting. She's a lot more mellow around Billie, probably because of her powers, so I feel like she's warming up to her, but Lucian seems all edgy around her. Maybe because she know? Obviously Billie can take her. Still, Artemis is as mean as ever. And I must continue forward to see what she does. Onward! Happy Review Day and Keep Writing,
~Wolfare~

Hello @artemis15sc ! It's @Sylar from the Earth Benders here to review your story! This is the third chapter of your story I've reviewed tonight! This novel is actually the only literary work I've reviewed at all so far

I haven't actually read your other 34 chapters (except for chapters 32 and 34), so I'm sorry if my review doesn't mean as much (Hopefully it will be sufficient!) Anyways, let's get in to this chapter.

Overall, I thought this was a really great chapter of a very interesting story! I have a few nitpicks:

They said Kara was attacked by some warrior boys, cold these be some of those boys.

They get bored when he doesn’t rise to their baitand stride down the hallway.

“Guess youweren’tthe only one wandering around last night.”

“Did you hear, Billie, someonewas out after curfew last night.” She leans closer. “Who knows what they

heardin the vents.”

Idoubt they’ll let her stay after this.

There’s a group of boys,jeering and calling as they play punch and fawn over one boy standing in the middle.