This book is no longer available for viewing here because it has been published! Click the link below to check it out!
E-book:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/sara-e-tall/alpha-misfits...
Paperback:
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter Chapter 33: The DiscoveryPoints:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,506 Literary Works • 672,594 Reviews
Sorry for the repeat. There was a glitch.
Hello, Artemis! Wolf here for a review.
I love Arthur so much right now. Of course, I'm all for the romance, not just because it's adorable, but because it's just amazing. It feels right. Not too forced and the complicated relationship between them is all the better. I can totally empathize with Billie on this one xD
Once again, I don't have much else to say critique wise. Just taking a step backing and looking over your entire novel, I can tell Billie has really grown a lot. I think a while ago I mentioned Billie showing some maturity in resisting Artemis, and she's grown so much. Watching her journey has been really interesting to me.
And, unless my tired brain just can't pick up on this, the flow has improved tons as well. Granted I haven't seen another action packed scene quite yet, but overall it has improved drastically. That's what we're here for right? To help you improve and draw attention to the improvement?
Anyway, back to the chapter, I'm loving Artermis' reaction, but I wonder how she was there? How in the world did she know to go there, of all places and of all times (cause midnight isn't practical to be eavesdropping or spying on someone.) I'm sure you have a reason, but this concerns me. She be evil, man. Before I go and ramble any more, I will conclude with congratulating you in having me start to identify with Billie. It's quite the accomplishment. Anywho. Onward! Happy Review Day and Keep Writing,
~Wolfare~
Hello @artemis15sc ! It's @Sylar from the Earth Benders here to review your story!
(Hopefully it will be sufficient!) Anyways, let's get in to your chapter.
This sentence is ind of a run on, and it didn't make much sense to me.Now I haven't actually read your other 31 chapters, so I'm sorry if my review doesn't mean as much
Overall, I thought this was a really cool chapter of what I bet is a really cool story! I have a few nitpicks:
What does this mean?
Shouldn't there be a comma at the end of the first piece of dialogue instead of a period?
The apostrophe at the end of the dialogue should be a quotation mark.
There should be a space between "god's" and "as."
There should be a space between "we're" and "all."
Her? Do you mean he?
Aside from that, I thought this was a great chapter! You had very nice and concise language/word choice, and your plot was interesting and made sense. At some point I'll have to go back and read the other chapters!
Very nice job @artemis15sc and Happy Review Day!
I wasn't quite sure how to review this, since it's so great!!
So romantic!! (I'm trying hard not to fangirl). And I'm definitely sure there'll be a plot twist somewhere in Billie and Lucian's relationship.