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Hello, Artemis! Wolf here for a review.
I love Arthur so much right now. Of course, I'm all for the romance, not just because it's adorable, but because it's just amazing. It feels right. Not too forced and the complicated relationship between them is all the better. I can totally empathize with Billie on this one xD
Once again, I don't have much else to say critique wise. Just taking a step backing and looking over your entire novel, I can tell Billie has really grown a lot. I think a while ago I mentioned Billie showing some maturity in resisting Artemis, and she's grown so much. Watching her journey has been really interesting to me.
And, unless my tired brain just can't pick up on this, the flow has improved tons as well. Granted I haven't seen another action packed scene quite yet, but overall it has improved drastically. That's what we're here for right? To help you improve and draw attention to the improvement?
Anyway, back to the chapter, I'm loving Artermis' reaction, but I wonder how she was there? How in the world did she know to go there, of all places and of all times (cause midnight isn't practical to be eavesdropping or spying on someone.) I'm sure you have a reason, but this concerns me. She be evil, man. Before I go and ramble any more, I will conclude with congratulating you in having me start to identify with Billie. It's quite the accomplishment. Anywho. Onward! Happy Review Day and Keep Writing,
~Wolfare~
Hello @artemis15sc ! It's @Sylar from the Earth Benders here to review your story!
Now I haven't actually read your other 31 chapters, so I'm sorry if my review doesn't mean as much 
(Hopefully it will be sufficient!) Anyways, let's get in to your chapter.
Overall, I thought this was a really cool chapter of what I bet is a really cool story! I have a few nitpicks:
This sentence is ind of a run on, and it didn't make much sense to me.He makes me stop every time one of them so much as wobbles, which they seem to be doing more and more as my head ache gets more and more intense.
What does this mean?Who knew you could even get a head ache form from magic?
Shouldn't there be a comma at the end of the first piece of dialogue instead of a period?“But if you really want a break.” His hands move to my waist. “I guess we can find something else to do.”
The apostrophe at the end of the dialogue should be a quotation mark.“Well, we could, you know…’ I let my own sentence trail off, but he shakes his head.
There should be a space between "god's" and "as."They say we come from the god’sas well.
There should be a space between "we're" and "all."Maybe we’reall just part of a game, and once we’ve played our part we’re cast off and pray that some god will save us in a whim of mercy.
Her? Do you mean he?Lucian said he didn’t believe in the gods, though her clearly believes in something, some higher power.
I wasn't quite sure how to review this, since it's so great!!
So romantic!! (I'm trying hard not to fangirl). And I'm definitely sure there'll be a plot twist somewhere in Billie and Lucian's relationship.
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