Chapter 37: The Revelation

by artemis15sc

Published November 2, 2014

12+ Language Violence

In Alpha: Misfit's Rise

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Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
pendr
Review
pendr wrote a review Review · Dec 13, 2014

...... -BURSTS INTO SOBS AND CURLS INTO BALL-

HOW COULD HEEE?!?! HOW COULD YOU?!?! -SOBS MORE- I DON'T WANT IT TO BE TRUE. NOT HIM. NOT LUCIAN. NOT HIM. NOT HIM.... -CONTINUES SOBBING- I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED. THIS ISN'T THE WAY IT'S MEANT TO BE. IT'S LUCIAN. NO. THIS CAN'T HAPPEN. NOT HIM. NOT THEM. -FALLS OVER- I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY?!?! WHY?!?!?!?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I JUST DON'T GET IT. I DON'T LIKE IT. I HATE THIS STORY. WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! I DON'T LIKE IT. HOW COULD HE?! iT'S LUCIAN. THIS ISN'T HIM. HE'S TOO PERFECT. THIS ISN'T REAL. NOT HIM. ANYONE BUT HIM. - SOBS EVEN HARDER- NEVER HIM. I DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. I DON'T GET ITT. WHY???!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????!?! WHYYY?!??!!??!! I'M GONNA BE SO DEPRESSED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I WON'T. WHY LUCIAN?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND -CONTINUES SOBBING FOREVER- NOT LUCIAN. NOT LUCIAN. NOT HIM. ANYONE BUT HIM. HOW COULD HE DO THIS?! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?! HOW COULD HE. NOT LUCIAN. NOT LUCIAN. -NEVER STOPS SOBBING-
HOW?! HOW. HOW. HOW?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIIISS?!

I have to stop typing to move on, but know I'll never be stop sobbing and screaming. Ever. I hate what you've done.

I'll telling you the same thing I told wolfare1. My sister beat me with a book for this. Also, according to my sister, this is really just Lucian's evil doppleganger doing all this...

Other thing I told wolfare1. Whatever it may not appear, Lucian is still my baby, and I love him. I believe, under all his darkness, he's motivated by love, and Billie still has the chance to save him.

pendr replied · Dec 13, 2014

You know, if I knew you in real life, sorry to say, I would beat you with a book, too.

And to your second paragraph:
1. THEN WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM DO THAT
2. Oh, God bless your soul

User avatar
RowanCrow
Review
RowanCrow wrote a review Review · Nov 30, 2014

hey, the Crow is here for a review!
Okay, well, to start, I do indeed really like this. You are very good at depicting conversation. Many people are terrible at that, and it is nice to read something like this. One of the only things I found that could be fixed.

“Magical blood is too precious to risking losing, this is the only way.”

I believe that this is supposed to be more like,

"Magical blood is too precious to risk losing, this is the only way."

other than that, I really like it. I haven't read the other parts, but I am definitely going to go back, and start them because this truly intrigues me. The relationship between the two characters in this was very easy to pick out, and I can barely write this review fast enough to go read the other parts. Nice job, and you will see me review more of your stuff.

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SpiritedWolfe
Review
SpiritedWolfe wrote a review Review · Nov 30, 2014

Hey, Artemis! Wolf here for a review.

I'm going to cry. Oh my god, how could you. Cudos to you for creating an amazing plot twist and a fantastically gripping chapter, but my god I'm literally crying. You've just ripped my heart out and shredded it. Being the author, this is a great thing for you. Obviously you've done a great job concealing Lucian's true intentions and creating a bond between Lucian and us, the readers, but wow it hurts. Hold on a second, I need to go cry xD

That was fantastic. Nothing else matter to me expect the words coming from Lucain's mouth during that scene. I really connected with Billie and I felt that utter betrayal. After everything they've been through. But yet it makes so much sense. His actions never felt sincere. Did Artemis know? Was she trying to warn Billie? This just took a really dark turn.

I honestly have nothing to critique. I'm literally writing this on tears over Lucian. Will Billie die too? She just swallowed a Lodestone. Is this really Lucian? I can't believe it, but it's true. It's just the most epic, but cruel plottiwst ever. The only thing I can really do now is continue reading. Wow... I'm in awe. Phenomenal job. Well... Onward! Happy Review Day and Keep Writing,
~Wolfare~.

I just want you to know that my sister chased me all around the house hitting me with a book when she read this part. I have been punished for my crimes.

Am I a terrible person if I was laughing while reading your review? Yeah, probably, but only because I've been waiting to see your reaction to this chapter for a long time.

Hold on though, there are things I must tell you about Lucian. After I finished the third draft, I sat back and realized I loved Lucian, in a completely maternal, familial way. (This when I a lot of his creepiness came into the story, so I don't know what that says about me xD) He's my baby, and he breaks my heart too but I have faith in him. His story is far from over, so don't give up hope yet.

I eagerly await more. My friend. I applaud you. Now just wait until Syrin :3

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Josie98
Review
Josie98 wrote a review Review · Nov 30, 2014

Hey!
Well Im about to collapse... :) so I think this will be my last review! Not only am I new to this but Im also supper tired so I hope this is helpful!

"Tomorrow night, they’re going to release a toxin that will kill everyone in their sleep, and I have no idea

how to stop them. " so yeah obviously formatting for this is off! :) so go check that out!
"I pace around the common area until 8:30, when I can’t take it anymore" maybe say *unitl* instead of "when" sounds a little better!

Your doing a GREAT job with this!!! Im really looking forward to reading more! About halfway through it just really grabbed me! Made me want to just keep on reading, for a lot longer then that one chapter! Great job! and good luck with editing! looking forward to reading more!



A person is more than their experiences, stacked up like stones... Our best moments are the foundations we use to reach for the sky.
— Yumi and the Nightmare Painter by Brandon Sanderson