Young Writers Society

Hey! Me again, still on behalf of the Earth Benders! I read chapter 31, and it was superb! I'll be doing the same thing I did in that review: making suggestions as I go.
Let's get started! I'm so excited!

"Eventually, some students had heard the explosions, or maybe seen trees flying through the night and had

gone to Arthur, who’d gone to the teachers, who come out to find a destroyed crypt,"
I think you meant for this to be one paragraph, so make sure to get that fixed Also, make 'who come out' 'who came out'

“We should keep the warlock.” Ms. Morningsky said. " You need a comma instead of a period after warlock.

“We can’t.” Ms. Iscarus said." You need a comma instead of a period again after can't.

"but then one of the teachers pulls him away as they carry Gwen to the academy." But should be capitalized, and make 'pulls' and 'carry' past tense so everything is the same tense. Also, maybe specify it's the teacher they're pulling away because at first I thought you meant Lucian.

"As soon as Mr. Ravenseye and his healing students decided we were fit to leave we were escorted up to President Karacason’s office." You need a comma after 'fit to leave'

"While Thea’s inside Sedna sits beside me." you need a comma after 'inside'

“Billie,” Ms., Morningsky says. “It’s your turn.” You have an unneeded comma after 'Ms.' that I'm guessing was unintentional

“I discovered what they were planning to do with the lodestone. And I…I told Lucian.” This should be a part of the previous paragraph because it's still Billie talking

“I—” Is it possible to be stared to death?" stared or scared?

“When I realized what he was planning to do, a blood sacrifice.” Change 'when' to 'then'

“They’re were burn marks on her wrist,” Ms. Morningsky confirms." They're should be there

“I used Lucian’s knife. It must have been infused with magic, or something.” There's no need for a comma before 'or something'

Sometimes you have Mr. Morningsky, other times you have Ms. There could be both and I just don't know, but if it's a typo make sure to fix it

“But what do we tell the students?” another advisors asks, “They saw something." You need a period instead of a comma after asks.

"They’ll mourn him as the hero they remember as well as realizing once and for all" make realizing 'realize'

“They we can only hope the judges treat this situation with the seriousness it deserves" change 'they' to 'then'

OH MY GOSH. BILLIE. DON'T GO IN THERE!!!

Ok. I'm done and again sorry for correcting all these simple, stupid things. I LOVE this story. Oh my goodness. And I don't even know half of what's going on XD
Hope to review again! Please, keep writing!!

Hey, Artemis! Wolf here for a review.

Once again, you do not cease to amaze me with your wonderful writing skills. It makes so much sense that they would want to preserve Lucian's reputation as a perfect student. Alpha is falling apart under them and they don't want to acknowledge their 'star student' is the cause of it all. And then comes the bias again.

I love Billie's change of heart. In the beginning of all this, she was a picked on loner with no friends, who so many people hated. Then suddenly she starts saving all those people who hated her. The change in her is drastic, but it's so drawn out its fabulous.

Through this entire chapter, there really isn't much I would change. I didn't notice any issues with flow, since I mostly skimmed through the parts, anxious to continue reading. Of course Billie would stand up for Sedna, and maybe even Gwen can respect her more after having this horrible experience with her. Sure it's sad, but it's a bonding time <3

And maybe Billie can find a way to convince Lucian to see reason once again. This government they have is extremely corrupt obviously, even without Lucian's help to screw it up. So sad that Billie had to be involved in all this, but it wouldn't be a story without it huh? Just my thoughts on things. Sometimes it's good for an author to see what runs through a reader's head when they read. Well, onward! Happy Review Day and Keep Writing,
~Wolfare~

wow, even though i have not read the other chapters i can see that it will be very interesting. keep on writing like this and who knows what you will achieve.