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Hello there, Nargles. Cheetah here for a Review Day review! Dragonfpheonix snagged up all the technical stuff, so here goes:

This was a good poem! I really like the natural feel it has to it. You have created that feel with words such as leaf, tree, feather, and so on. Well done on that.

A couple of things I would like to mention:

In the first few lines, it seems to go back and forth from reality to imagination, reality to imagination. This a good, but when it happens every other line it can really confuse the reader and cause them to think harder than they want to about when an event is taking place. Just having a little less change would help the poem seem smoother.

Also a really minor thing, this might not even be an error at all, but part of it goes like this:

"Your fingers are wrapped around my heart

And I dream about a world where I'm free.

Tell me you love me and show me your heart,"

You seem to have rhymed heart with heart here. This is okay, I suppose, but I haven't really seen a word rhyme with the same word on a poem.

Other than that, this was really good! You're very talented and I look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you for sharing and keep writing!

Hey

Umaima here to do the honor of reviewing!

I am going to start with the positives then move on to the negatives and then finally tell you my over all view, in the review!

Positives:

*The poem's title was very nice!

* The poem was short and meaningful which was a very very big plus point and I literally want t ask you how you d it because I can't! So I will give you that.

* I liked the title of the poem, it was different and nice!

Negative:

Err, formatting error! I will solve that for you though!


"Your fingers are entwined in mine,

And I think about what it's like to fly.

What it'd be like as a leaf,

Floating further away from my tree.



Your lips are on the inside of my thigh

And I imagine a world where I could fly.

What it'd be like as a feather,

Drifting further away from my tether.



Your fingers are wrapped around my heart

And I dream about a world where I'm free.

Tell me you love me and show me your heart,

Stop me from having to create a happy fantasy.



Hold me close and kiss me into the night,

Just be by my side until I enter the light."


Overall view: A romantic and sweet poem. I could feel what you tried to describe and I bet I am kinda underage to read this but anyways loved it! You should make this as above 16 because of the mature content in the poem. Anyways coming back to what I felt about the poem, I am going to conclude my saying this was amazing!

Umaima

Knight Dragon, here to review on this glorious Review Day!

Well, I scoured this poem up and down for technical things to note, and I only found two things.
"Tell me you love me and show me your heart,", this should have a period at the end, not a comma.
"Hold me close and kiss me into the night,"
The same issue as the first one.

Now, as far as the poem itself goes, you did a good job of keeping all your imagery light and feathery and airy. It felt like a floating poem, where the reader had to jump into the air just to be with it. The only thing that made me a little uncomfortable was:
"Your lips are on the inside of my thigh

And I imagine a world where I could fly."
I felt you should have maybe given this a higher rating, but at the very least added the Mature Content rating.

Hope this helps! Happy Review Day!

As the others have pointed out it is a very romantic poem, but I felt like it was unfinished.

well you didn't make any spelling or grammar mistakes but it's a little TO romantic, sorry. Maybe you could take out a few lines cause it seems like you wrote a little to much for a love poem. But you did an awesome job with finding the words to type this up. It's beautiful otherwise, but I'm no one to judge your writing skills! Ask a more poetic person and keep the main gist. Remember to write from the heart and that this is your poem, sometimes it's better to just leave it the way it is.

Hi Nargles,so here is Dark to give review on your poem.

So, I was very fascinated by the themes in your poetry.Words of love is certainly something that often sweep our mind when reading it.I honestly liked your poem. Romance theme indeed often nurtured in the poem, but you're doing something new here.This has been the strength in your poem.Even so, I was a little disappointed with some inaccurate use of diction.

#And I think about what it's like to fly. -->So the simile doesn't work so well here.I mean it become something like cliche(a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought.). It is something that is commonly heard, which ultimately makes it less creative.

But anyway,I like this lines so much:
# What it'd be like as a leaf,
Floating further away from my tree.
# What it'd be like as a feather,
Drifting further away from my tether. -->This simile now working in these parts of your poem.

# Tell me you love me and show me your heart,
Stop me from having to create a happy fantasy.
Hold me close and kiss me into the night,
Just be by my side until I enter the light. -->The end of the poem seems too simple and I'm not satisfied with it.Also the last line,"Just be by my side until I enter the light."What is actually the meaning of this line?It didn't clear here.
Overall,you already have a good ideas here in your poem,but you still need to make it clear ,so that the reader will understand it.
Keep it up,cheers
~Dark

Wow...after reading this, i wanted to take it and show it to my girlfriend. So, it's good, quite feminine really even though am not a female. What I'd advise is to make it rhyme, its not important though but people generally like rhyming poems, it pulls them to read it more so that's my only advice and apart from that, i have nothing else to say. Go on and write more.