Look yonder! Look up!
To the skies above
To thousands of glittering stars.
Do you know half of them are gone,
Their identities no more,
The star itself no longer around,
But can they be truly dead
If their light still shines down?
PeanutPhoebe, here to review!! Great job on this short poem. I really like short poems if they're written well. You did well with your choice of words. This is a little bit choppy, tho... Some of the transitions just need to flow better. This is pretty good, but could use some improvement. You're doing a great job on all of your poems, though. Keep up the good work!! PeanutPhoebe
Hello there, tgirly. I vaguely remember seeing you around and/or possibly having reviewed some of your stuff before. Anyways, in the name of the Knights of the Green Room and our Most Sacred and Tireless Quest to ensure that no works go unreviewed in the realm of the Literary Area, here I have come to free your long unreviewed piece from its state of reviewlessness on this fine Review Day. I hope you don’t mind. :3Now I happen to like short poems, and this was a very nice and short poem. However, there are quite a few things about this poem that could use improving. First and most noticeably of all would be the punctuation.
Look yonder! Look up!To the skies aboveTo thousands of glittering stars.
Do you know half of them are gone,Their identities no more,The star itself no longer around,
Did you know, half of them are dead,Gone a hundred million years or more.
You need more detail to try to pull in the reader to this poem a bit more... Its good just try to use more details
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