What have I written?

Hey TheShauzer,

You requested a review from me back when this was new. I um, didn't get to it, until now ^^;;;; so sorry. You might not even be around YWS any longer. BUT! Here's what I have to say.

I think this poem is holding a lot of punches. You asked for an overall review, and I feel like this is one of those poems that is written out of spite. Like, you really want to make something original, but because so much is already written, you just, can't, do it. Because this seems to be a conundrum more than a poem, I'll focus on the answer that I think you might be happy to hear. It is possible to create original poetry even in the age of technology we now experience. Even with all of the subjects being used up and raggedy, there are still new things to say about them.

Unfortunately, your poem isn't really touching on that, it's more focusing on navel gazing, which is basically just self-indulgence in a poem. I think the hardest part about writing poetry is that you have to talk from yourself, but not necessarily about yourself. Writing a poem about writing a poem is hard to do, but writing a poem about poetry, is one of those subjects that's always going to crop up, like writing about how to write. Even people who aren't authors are going to try their hand at telling other people how to be authors. It's the nature of people.

From my experience, as a poet, I can tell you that it doesn't matter if you really want to write something good, if it is cliche or not. What matters is if people notice that it's cliche. You're entering into a discussion that has been going on for thousands of years, back since people could write. Over time that discussion has morphed and changed, and we as poets and writers have to be aware of what that discussion has become.

That being said, I feel like this is a poem that's a little behind the conversation, but also not willing to engage. You could have made this poem better by adding in comments and notes that point to other poems along this nature even if they're just poems on YWS, or online. If you search for poems about poetry, you come up with a lot of them, so there's no shortage of supply. Reading them and relating to them would make this original and better than just a poem isolated on it's own little island.

Hello, TheShauzer.

At this point, the very subject of being cliche and wanting to be original is cliche. While I managed to get through this, the pretentiousness of the narrator's voice did nothing to make this an enjoyable or even thought provoking read. When the narrator sounds pretentious, it's difficult to focus on what they're saying because it might just be that they're saying what they're saying solely for their own benefit.

I've noticed that this is a trend in your poetry. Why don't you just say what you mean and leave it at that? Simplicity has its own beauty, and personally, I think it is much more beautiful than the gilded words that stem from pretension.

When you have nothing to put down in a piece, critique still exists in the form of analysis. One person's analysis differs from others, and it is useful to the poet to know how people are understanding their poems.

There is nothing to interpret here. It's a ramble about cliches that becomes cliche itself with no imagery to make the reader remember this. Instead of a monologue, try a moment in the narrator's life that shows this idea. Moments in time are much stronger than dry monologues.

I find the phrase "cyber clowns" particularly needling. If you don't want critique, don't put your work up here on YWS. Many reviewers spend lots of time on their reviews and don't deserve to be called clowns.

Have a good day.

Hello...

Okay, I'm sorry for not lying, but, the punctuation needs to be legit along with the capitalization of words. Sorry, but, this is a review.

Ignoring all the punctuation- errors, the poem is an original and you have, my friend, (in my opinion) failed to succeed in failing. And even if this is a cliché (because, undoubtedly, such poems have been written) it is unique in its own way.

A truly unique poem would be written by an alien, because, they couldn't possibly come across the same emotions a human feels (maybe, they can.... I'm not sure), and that's why many innovations can become clichés to the unobservant. And your poem just elegantly expresses my rant, so far.

Your poems, along with the poems of many others might be clichés, because, we are all humans and we all feel the same emotions, but, there'll still be nuances in them which are undeniable, because, we are also different and unique.

Sorry, for the queer review, but... I really find your poem unique (I'm not lying).

Well, this is a very interesting poem. It all feels a little bit choppy in my opinion. I like the underlining theme, well, I love it and hate it. It's telling me that you're never going to be original, because everything has already been done before, that is one part I don't like, because I disagree. But the other way I see it, its hard to be original, that's been done, this's been done before, originality is what blocks me from writing.

The second stanza, the dream of being a writer, and even if you succeed, the people will want more, and you don't know if you can write something of that quality again.

The third stanza, it took me a while to figure this out, but, here it goes: What is critiquing when you don't have anything to be critiqued, let me just say, the wording is what's throwing me off, but that's probably just me, anyway.

Fourth stanza, and then after originality and cliche there's still wording you have to worry about, sorry, I just couldn't really get the meaning of this one.

Fifth stanza, which I'm going to try my best on, critique if you will, and if you need to, lie, the lying part about critique is what kind of struck me, lie to tell me it is good?

Also, I don't mean to offend you, overall, I like the unique words, even though I had to get the dictionary every stanza, it adds to the poem, and I like it. It is a bit choppy for my taste, but that is my taste. It was unique, I can say that, I have poems before, but this one was kind of on its own path.

Hope my idiocy didn't offend you!