You must be sick
of me by now,
calling upon you in the dark,
haggard face,
furrowed brow,
voice of a tortured lark.
You must be tired
of the chant,
filled with despair and worry,
things I should
hold in, but can’t,
spat out in a dreadful flurry.
How do you cope,
I wonder,
twinkling so high above,
my demented problems to
ponder?
Such is love, such is love.
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140,085 Literary Works • 672,996 Reviews
I like it I just don't know how to review it.
It's great though!
Thanks Alucard
I appreciate it. And I hate it when that happens to me :')
Howdy! I'm JustOneMorePoem, but you're free to call me 'L' if you want.
For your poem, I don't know why but I feel a twinge of empathy towards the meaning of your poem. I know you must think that I must only be saying this because of the whole 'Review Day' thing, but I'm not. I really feel connected to this poem in many different ways. Maybe it's because I've done exactly what the narrator has done for years, hoping on a ball of dust, and praying that one day my dreams will come true. Or maybe it's because now I get to wonder just how the star feels when I pour out my emotions to it and all it can do is twinkle on, watching me over and over again to no avail!
I know, I'm detouring from the poem to myself, and for that I apologize. But, out of all of these emotions, I feel a slight sense of confusion from the last line of your last stanza.
I just, think that when you say "Such is love, such is love" it sort of creates a bend in the flowing river of words, and I start to feel disconnected. But then again, I'm just one person, and sometimes I can be very wrong, so don't take me that seriously in my rare critiques.
So, I really do love this entire poem, and I hope you have a wonderful rest of this night.
Yours truly,
JustOneMorePoem
Thanks JOMP, I appreciated that. The 'such is love' line, remember that I'm talking about my girlfriend. The star is a metaphor
Thanks again.
Just realized my mistake. Thanks *L
Hey there...
Um I guess your poem is just one perfect piece of art. It is short ...sweet and so many things put in words....I like the words you chose to express what you feel...
P.s.- I'm sure your girl will never get tired of you I f you keep using such amazing words for her
Ah thank you! That was nice
Hey TheShauzer!
This poem is short and sweet while painting the emotion beautifully.
Your vocabulary sets the tone very nicely with subtle points of repetition.
I don't believe there is anything to work on besides trying to write a bit more?
Love you work and this was a nice read. Hope to see more from you!
Your friend,
Cheaper
Thanks a lot Cheaper