Cave me in, with a single touch,
or a word, a smile or a tear.
Throw my heart to the dogs of love;
caress my romantic fears
all around, deep down, high above.
Someplace else we embrace,
beneath Aphrodite's wealth of stars.
We float in the waters of cupid,
out at sea, so far, so far
away from all that reason we muted.
We contented the souls to be one,
and against all odds, they joined.
We erased the years of past,
reset time's clock, rejoiced;
for even time can love outlast.
Let the moon and sun crumble,
crumble beneath rotating hands
into an eternal debris.
We shall persist in ethereal lands,
for never such a bond did romance see.
Cave me in, with a touch of your lips.
Cave me in, with the scent of your hair.
Cave me in, with the sway of your hips.
Cave me in, let reality dare
to dawn, and be trapped behind love's eclipse.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,888 Reviews
This is really beautiful, seriously. You've managed to express
the beauty of love without being cliche and mainstream.
There's this wonderful sense of eternity in your poem, that love truly does last forever
and you've done that so well.
My favourite stanza was the final one, it really hit the mark. You have a special way with words and it's really shining through this poem. I absolutely love it.
Keep writing and creating wonderful things!
-Jumana x
Thank you, I appreciated that! I'll try to review one of yours
This could totally be a song. Just sayin', maybe it is one. But I could totally see that last stanza being the refrain, and everything else the verse.
But anyway, good stuff. Wish I could say a bit more, but poetry isn't my greatest forte.
Good use of raw emotion. You clearly established what you wanted to say and did so with a bang.
Keep it up!
- Nate
Sorry fro taking so long to get back to you. Yeah, I guess this almost touches on lyrical, but I wouldn't be very strong on that side of things so... clueless :')