Nature

by TheShauzer

Published November 1, 2014

E - Everyone

In Poetry

Branches criss-cross an empty sky,

like veins to an artist's eye.

The spirit of nature dwells within,

an eternal presence that will never die.

_

Armies of weeds reinforce the ditch,

hesitant to cross a sea of pavement.

Flowers reside across that sea - so rich,

their beauty the enchantment of a witch.

_

Sunshine penetrates a heavy mist,

ethereal rays to all obstacles resist.

Light blesses the dark mass of shadow,

revealing such marvels - too many to list.

_

God's face is in the leaves,

his hair in grass, limbs in trees.

Nature is strong, through our souls it weaves,

on cold bright morns, on dark silent eaves.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
AfterTheStorm
Review
AfterTheStorm wrote a review Review · Nov 30, 2014

If poetry isn't your strong point, I'd love to see what is! This was quite beautiful, Shauzer. :D Poems concerning nature have always been a favorite of mine, so I was immediately glad when I found this little gem. The way you so precisely described the scene unfolding throughout the poem really captured the exact image of God's beauty in my mind. These two lines:

"Sunshine penetrates a heavy mist,

ethereal rays to all obstacles resist. ...
are probably my favorite, though you have plenty of strong imagery throughout the piece to be regarded as favorites. Splendid!

Usually rhyming in poetry can feel a bit forced or unnatural, but you pulled it off quite nicely and established a steady rhythm. You'll probably see me popping into some of your other published works and dropping a like or review. :) Thank you so much for sharing, and as always: Write on!

---Storm

Thanks a lot Storm, means a good deal that my poetry appeals to you :) and by the way, short stories are my strong point ;)

User avatar
farahmasud
Review
farahmasud wrote a review Review · Nov 3, 2014

[edited by a moderator due to being one of many identical reviews and hence considered spam - enspoilered because there's a reply]

Spoiler
This is written very well, and it also has very great meaning behind it.
It was at times a little confusing though, but there is good word choice
I myself love writing and love that you chose to write about this
You seem like a very interesting person, and I love that you decided to voice your passion for writing.
There are a few things other people said that I do not want to reiterate, so I won't
Although there are a few corrections that could make this even better you have great potential,and ideas
Have a great day!

Thanks farah :') Well poetry isn't really my strong point but I'll get better ;)

Actually, looking back over this, I think you may have reviewed the wrong piece :')

RandomCollumns wrote a review Review · Nov 2, 2014

Argggghhhh, why did you have to end it there? I wanted more out of that poem, I wanted it to go on a little further! I loved how you described the whole demeanour of nature, personification really helped -and is really beautiful. As an atheist agnostic, I didn't like the part where you mentioned God, and anyone who define him as a human, may struggle to picture what you meant.
Random Columns

Thanks RC :)



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