I will not cry for you.
Not a drop shall stain the ground
for the ignorance of our days.
I am above the resignation you've found;
I find no joy in what stagnancy pays.
I have never seen a periphery so packed,
nor a clear path so overlooked.
The way to the light is well ignored,
the jobs are secure; the graves are booked;
everyone longs to be contentedly bored.
I cry for the height I have obtained
above the delusion of peers,
I miss being oblivious to the world,
I miss my childhood fears.
I miss being oblivious to the world.
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140,094 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
I love this poem,personally.
I love the idea of it.
It shows the daily struggles.
It shows what the society these days is.
You expressed this very well in this writing.
The start was cathy in my opinion but the end was kinda off or maybe I did not get it?
Maybe yes,maybe no.Still that does not change the fact that this is very good and well written.
Keep on letting us read your amazing works!
My favourite line is "The way to the light is well ignored,.." even though everything else is good also!
Hello, TheShauzer! Just clearing the Green Room by dropping some reviews.
I, personally, found this poem very nice. I struggle with detail in my poetry but this poem is clearly one you put effort into. It's a very emotional piece in my opinion, which is great. I feel emotion is a part of writing.
Enough babbling--I love the theme of this poem too. My favorite stanza is the last. It definitely adds to the poem. I don't have any critiques because I feel this poem is a great piece already. So well done.
Amazing job! Keep up the good work!
-S
Hi, herby here for a review!
I really like this poem! I love the idea you express, it's something I struggle with sometimes. Just, why does everyone follow the guidelines of society? Why do old people just retire and resign themselves? Why do young people toil through school and then a job and just... Life? I think you showed this predictability of life in the words, "The jobs are secure, the graves are booked." I love this line! I think "The graves are booked" is a strangely powerful line that really speaks to me and just communicates this predictability of all life, like we know how it ends, and its already there, waiting for us. It's great! I love it!
There were a few things that I think could be adjusted that could make this poem even better. Mainly, I didn't like the final line. I understand that perhaps the repetition of the line, "I miss being oblivious to the world," was sort of to drive home a message, but from the description and the rest of the poem, I don't get the feeling that's the real message. If you just ran out of things to rhyme, then I cry. There's always something that can rhyme! Just think about it.
Anyways, thanks for fantabulous poem! I really like it, and I look forward to seeing some of your other stuff!
herbgirl